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  • Getting through xanax withdrawals tips

    Hi everyone. this is going to be my story of getting through (better say surviving) xanax withdrawals so everybody who is interested might read it and I hope they would find it interesting. Gotta warn you that this is going to be a long one. so well, I have to say that I am reading a lot of stories (posts) all over the internet about how people are days away from going into the benzo withdrawals as well as how bad they are relying on the “postal gods” as well as magic wands or whatever else. but this should be  discussed in anther forum post which I also think that would be a very useful thread, maybe later I am going to make that thread either, it would be “the importance of stockpiling” as it is indeed very important.

     

    Anyway,  I have been on benzos for a very long time, since I have been a teenager I take them, my very first panic attack has occurred when I have been only 15 years old. of course, when I had it, I needed to go through the entire ordeal of CTs, of EKGs as well as a lot others, in order to rule out every single possible physical illness, until later, finally, one good day my GP has figured it all out and told me that I am having GAD.So well, I have finally got the prescription of Frontin, which is a very uncommon drug but it is an very and very potent alprazolam (it is Pfizer level or maybe it could be even more potent than it). I’ve got 0.25 mg to take 3 times a day. this is (as you can see) an very and very low dose and this is why it did not do very much with my, however in a few months, of course, I got a higher dose so I ended up being on 3 to 4 mgs per day and then over a decade in a half I have ended up to approximately 6 mgs per day.

     

    Then later, when I have finished the high school in the Europe I have moved to the USA and I think that those people who are living here do know very well how doctors are extremely hesitant when it is coming to benzos, like they give you a gun or something. They are, most of the time, going for SSRIs and maybe a very very low dose of some generic and very poor quality of Klonopin. This is the reason why I have asked one of my family member in my country of where I was born to ask my former doctor to continue writing those Frontin scripts and that family member I am talking about would send me a 100 pills per month to me. 1 pill = 1 mg which means I was having 100 mg a month.Of course, each one of us knows very well how USPS is operating (or at least most of us), that is why, obviously, I have ended up with some severe withdrawals, those times when the USPS misread the ZIP code, or maybe when they have accidentally been putting it into the neighbor’s mailbox, which has been, obviously, vacant for months on end, that is why there has been no way to get them back.

     

    Either way, I have went through hell from the withdrawals that most of the people do know what it is like (I thought… let’s just call it xanax from now on here). next: the classic situation. After a couple of years of using them, and with alcohol pretty often as well, of course I have developed a very serious addiction to it. I have went through approximately 5 or maybe even 6 xanax withdrawals (so many that I don’t even remember) and I have to say that the last one was the most serious one and it has been a few months ago.So well, after about 2 years or so of being almost completely unable to eat or to sleep, it just hit me and I felt that I have to change something, I have felt that this time I am not going to be able to make it. that is why I have started to walk to the nearest ER out there. I remember that I have showed up in there totally broke, my hands have started to go into convulsions half way to the hospital, I was all shaking, like I have never experienced before. They have bent down and I was not able to move them at all. so well, I have stumbled in the ER entrance and the triage nurse has seen me right away and she immediately understood that the problem I am having is pretty severe and that I do need serious help as she started to act on an instant. so well, after they have seen that I was not even able to write down my own name or to put a logical sentence together or whatever logical, I have ended up in a room (guess an emergency one) and I have been all surrounded by CNAs, by nurses and by a doctor trying to help me.

     

    They have cathetered me, due to the fact that I had been self medicating with alcohol, that is why they have needed to find out and know whether it is safe to get me on CNS depressants so well I have been good to go. after I have spent 2 days in there in the psych ward, they have sent me off approximately 20 or 30 miles (whatever) away to a detox facility, where my first week have started stunning. That doctor has put me on a valium taper (if you know, Ashton manual type) and I have been feeling better and better day by day, and I have been ready to sign my release forms after approximately one week or so, when then later something horrible has happened. I do not remember very much from that, but I did started to see some weird things to come out of the walls, I have started to see myself showing on the TV, I have been watching myself on the news as a reporter has been talking about me, I have been able to see myself being gunned down, due to the fact that I have been able to control minds or something so that is why there have not been very much left for them to do because they couldn’t deal with me, this is why they shoot me down. I have been in such a state of mind that I was convinced and sure that I could speak to people telepathically and I was able to control minds. I have been in such a horrible situation that I started to see and hear things that were appearing extremely real to me. I have even seen the SWAT team coming right outside of the hospital and that is why I have drew a sign and then I have put it on the window reading: please, do not shoot me, I don’t intend to hurt anybody. I have been thinking that I was holding nurses there as hostages with my mind control. My paranoid, schizophrenia etc. etc. went to a level I was literally crazy. And I was believing what I was seeing. It was all real for me. so well, the doctors, of course, seen that, and they have got me a shot of Halidol and the next 3 days were all blacked out for me.I have finally woke up and then I have started to realize and to understand that everything that happened in there was only my imagination and nothing more. I was feeling so awkward, so ashamed of myself, so strange. I could not believe in that. I could not believe that it is possible. It has been very hard for me to come back to reality because I’ve been a firm believer in my own reality.

     

    So well, here is a few tips for those people who are refusing to have a stock pile (as I have already said, I guess that I am going to make another thread later about stock piling) and to decide to go through the benzos withdrawals without any help and to ride it out. so well, I am going to talk about what you can expect and how to handle some certain situations that might occur as this is what’s really important.So well, here’s the following list of what you could suspect:

     

    - Loss of appetite

     

    -Vomiting

     

    -Uncontrollable shaking, a lot and excessive sweating

     

    - Some extremities to go ice cold. I have had to take a very hot shower every hour or so in order to warm up my body due to the fact that I could not feel my fingers and toes (so cold I’ve been feeling)

     

    - After you are going to reach the 3rd day, (or at least what it happened to me) I have started to lose touch with reality slowly. No, I was not having hallucinations, however it did felt like I have been in a dream, I was day living in a dream. Everything that happened has been absolutely like in a dream or something. I was in my own little world. I have been nearly feeling my brain to go into overdrive and my GABA receptors screaming and asking for those benzo molecules!

     

    - This has lasted approximately 5 days or so, this has been the worst part of it all.

     

    - Numbness, tightness as well as chest pain. I have been having constantly numb arms, constantly numb forehead as well as hands. My jaw has locked up, been very hard.

     

    - Had the jell o leg syndrome. For those who does not understand. My legs has been feeling like they have been made from jell o and I was barely able to lift them which means that I was barely able to walk.

     

    - I’ve been also having brain zaps as well as some electric shock sensations. Very and very often. Any time that I have been touching a door knob or something it sparked and it did shocked me. yeah… it was my brain that was still in the overdrive.

     

    - I’ve had an extreme noise sensitivity. I couldn’t stand in noisy rooms / places. I was very and very sensitive.

     

    - It has been 5 days and I was still having no appetite at all.

     

    - I then have finally been able to go to sleep (but it was a very big problem in the past), however nightmares appeared when I finally got sleep.

     

    - I have been extremely annoyed by anything and everything. But I guess this is expectable. I was the most annoyed person on this planet. I could not bear any humans near me. I could get annoying by anything. Like for example there was no stars seen in the sky. This annoyed me. there was stars in the sky. It annoyed me.

     

    - Of course, diarrhea

     

    - I have a strange and constant need to move. A strange need to scratch my face, my legs, to move my arms, or simply to move or whatever else.

     

    - That feeling that you are leaving your own body or something, the feeling of impending doom, that something very terrible it is just about to happen soon. and you wait for it. you kinda wait. You just feel it. once again, at least this happened for me and that’s why it could happen to you too. this has been a very and very scary thing. I have been in a fetal position for like 2 days on the floor and I was crying out of nothing as a grown man I was. I did not wanted to die but I had a feeling like I would soon.

     

    So well, these were what I have got and as I said, I am not trying to say that they would surely happen to you too, but there’s a risk of it happening. Besides, there might be others that did not happen to me and if there would be something like that then I am sorry but I cannot really help. about the ones that happened to me. a few words on how you can be prepared in order to make them less painful, terrible or whatever. generally, to make it at least a bit better but I should warn you: do not expect any wonders!! So I am going to try to write them consecutively.

     

    - You should go and work out or go run or both or swim or all 3. In case your heart is beating fast, at least your brain is not imagining that it is beating a 160 bpm, due to the fact that you are about to get a heart attack, but due to the fact that you are working out and doing something.

     

    - Get some very light food, like yogurt or saltines.

     

    - In case you are drinking, you should get yourself a few very light beers and to drink maybe one in about every 2 hours or so. It is going to help you a lot with the anxiety for a temporary period of time, however in case you are going to do it all day, for days on end, your withdrawals are going to get a lot (and I mean A LOT) worse, due to the fact that alcohol is messing up with some of the GABA receptors as benzos either. so you could do it, but be very careful on how you exactly do it.

     

    - Take a week off from your work. At least one week because of course the first week is the worst. Trust me, you might be a tough guy and think that you’ll be fine, you will not. you are not going to be able to do your job properly. In case you think that you can do it and you might be able to, then your co workers are going to notice it, that there’s something very off. In fact, there are some situations when you could work, depending on the type of work, how bad is your wd, you’re really a very tough guy, it is the 4th day of wd and so on and so forth. But you still should not do it. just call out and tell that you are very contagious or whatever else you need to say.

     

    - Do not drive, it is obvious. Forget about driving during this period.

     

    - You should try to stay indoors at home due to the fact that outside stimuli is going to drive your brain crazy but if you still don’t believe me you’ll go outside and you’ll feel it yourself.

     

    - For me personally, I just have told all the people I knew, that I am going to be out of the town for a few days and that there’s no reason in trying to get me. I really could not stand those people who were showing up and hanging around (as I said, I hated to be around people) especially in the time I have been getting through that hell inside of my mind. And all of this while I have had to act normal, of course, which is, of course again, not easy, when you are in that dream like state of mind I have mentioned with all those other feelings running through me.

     

    - you really should get yourself some “sleepy time extra strength Chamomile” tea, it is going to help you a bit. but you need to put in a mug about 3, 4 or maybe even 5 of them. I do know that it is excessive but it is the only way to get some help from them.

     

    - in case you are not able to sleep at all (because it might happen that insomnia would be a very hard thing to deal with) after about 2 or 3 days then I suggest you to get yourself some Benadryl. Dyphenhydramine HCL is going to knock you out or at least put you to sleep a little bit for a few hours. it should. However, I have to warn you that it will not help you at all with your anxiety so pay attention to this.

     

    - it is pretty important to avoid caffeine and cigarettes, they would make your days worse. You should avoid any kind of stimulants for this matter. in case you are a smoker and you find it hard to quit then at least try to purchase cigarettes with lower nicotine and try smoking fewer cigarettes per day. if you’re a daily basis coffee drinker then the same as cigarettes, try to have fewer coffees per day if that’s mandatory for you. ideally would be not to smoke any cigarettes and coffee at all, but once again, if that’s kind of mandatory then try fewer and lower. Try decaffeinate coffee and low nicotine cigarettes.

     

    - I do know this might sound pretty stupid but you still should do it. in case you are not already having an Netflix or a Hulu account then you should prepare yourself for this period and get yourself one. Put on Friends on it, Seinfeld, whatever Chevy Chas comedy, or try watching some Curb yourEnthusiasm or whatever else is making you laugh. Laughter is going to help you even though you may think that it will not. there’s a reason why they are telling: laughter is the best medicine. I do know that it sounds like a cliché, however in case you find yourself chuckling on a stupid joke from some stupid sitcom then you already won a few second or maybe minutes of serenity and in that situation, believe me, that’s a lot and you’re a winner. When dealing with those minutes then this can be priceless, trust me I know what I am talking about. as I said above, you should not go to work during this time, as I said, you even should not go outside, hence, there’s nothing you can do than watching them all day long, all the night long if that’s necessary. You should avoid to be all quite because you are going to hear noises and they are going to freak you out, I know what I am talking about (and that’s even if those noises are not going to come from your own head).

     

    - I’m not that sure if this goes for women’s audience here (but I guess it should), but if you’re a man then masturbate very much. as much as you can. yeah. seriously. That’s not a joke. This is going to distract you for a few minutes and then again it is going to give you a couple of minutes of serenity which is, as I have already said it, in those kind of minutes, priceless minutes when you are going through a benzo WD hell.

     

    - In case you black out and you end up with bumps and bruises and you do not remember that this has ever happened then it most likely means that you have had a seizure. If it does happen and you see it then you should grab a backpack as soon possible, put in there 2 t shirts, 2 boxers and 2 pair of socks in there and right away go to the nearest ER in there. (I guess we need to talk a little bit about this later).

     

    - In case you are going to start to see things and to hear some things that you do know that are not there and it is your imagination then you should see the point from above ^ and grab that backpack with primarily needs and go to the nearest ER immediately! you should do so because in a matter of some minutes or some hours you are going to lose touch with reality completely (it goes slowly, but if you do not act you’ll lose) and you are not going to be able to tell what it is reality and what it is not so don’t wait.

     

    - in case you are starting to feel like your extremities start to go into some convulsions / spasms then you are not having even the time to pack your backpack so you need to call the 911 immediately. in the same minute! Trust me, you might be a couple of minutes way from a possibly fatal seizure! This is definitely not a joke because convulsions are usually the most serious warning sign that soon, things are going to take a turn for the worse, surely.

     

    - In case you are having a BP monitor at home (that would really be very good) then, obviously, use it, maybe every hour or so. Watch what it is written because if your BP is going over 160/120 then you are still not in danger, however you still should pack your needs and leave for the ER. However, what it is even more important is that you should watch your heart rate. in case it is going over 120 – 130 then once again, you should go to the nearest ER right away!

     

    - and I guess this is going to be the last one: in case you are feeling tightness in your chess, or mybe some numbness in your arm(s) and maybe some jaw pains, then you should call the ambulance immediately because you shouldn’t play with this.

     

    So well, now. in case you are getting to the ER on foot by your own (because in case you are getting there by the ambulance then you can ignore this following part).You need to tell the triage nurse that you are now going through the benzo withdrawals (everything as it really is) and you are feeling like you are just about to pass out or something, seize as well as see (and hear) some things that they are not there in reality. You need to tell everything as it is, tell the truth. You should not lie. They are college educated people, they are doctors, they are there for helping people. they are not some idiots. If you drank then you should tell them, of course. You should tell them in case you took any type of street drugs in order to self medicate. Nobody is going to put you to jail, you should be fully honest with those people. remember that all the medical staff in there are not cops and they are only going to help, that’s why they are there, to fix you up and not to judge your or whatever. once again, you need to be fully honest with them about everything. Not sure how to explain it better. you need to be especially honest with the doctor (though you should be with everybody else as well), you should tell him everything. They are going to the medschool (surprisingly yeah?) and they are teaching them about how dangerous it is to go off cold turkey from benzos which means that they do know what to expect and they do know what you’re going through those minutes.When you are going to be there then they are going to treat you like you are a priority and remember that they would do so because you really are. You should remember and keep this in mind that people are dying from benzo withdrawals (one of the reasons why doctors hesitate a lot to prescribe them). all of this is definitely not a joke at all! this is something that nobody should take lightly! At least the doctors and the nurses in there surely won’t because as I said, they do know what’s that. remember tht the first 2 nights in there are going to be the hell, they are going to put IV Ativan every now and then in order to get your heart rate down from 130 160 below to a 100 or so because that it is considered to be safe. You should feel free to look at the monitor in case you are not feeling good and check your heart rate. in case it is going up then call up the nurse right away and most likely it is going to go with Ativan (a side note here… I personally hate Ativan because I think that it is the most useless benzo ever… but anyway). you are going to be stuck (usually) in a tiny room with a curtain until they are going to find you a place, a detox, where they are going to take you as an inpatient and taper you off in a safer way. usually I know that they are not trained for that at the ER.

     

    After they taper you off, you are going to still feel anxiety. you should remember that withdrawals sometimes can last as long as a year (yeah. that’s true. I’m sorry but I have to tell you the truth). Obviously, it is not going to be the same intensity and severity, however you are still going to feel some constant anxiety that would go off only with time. and when you are going to do it and you will have those effects then it is going to be the worst year of your life! then they are going to appoint you for a follow up with a psych doctor and then I one recommend you that you find a primary psychiatrist for yourself, one that it is going to give you the proper medications. it is very and most likely that you are not going to get any benzos for some (I guess) very obvious reasons, however if you do then you should not expect more than a baby dose with no refills. Most likely I think that you are going to be put on some type of an SSRI and maybe even some off label for anxiety, maybe Gabapentin or maybe Seroquel or something like that.

     

    So well, to have a summary about this all – it is an truly horrible, terrible, awful experience, however in case you are already hooked up on benzos then I highly recommend you to get this help. you could stay on them. I one decided to stay on them, I could not function with the daily anxiety I was living with, however I am not using anymore xanax 3 or 4 at the time like I have been used to do in the past. Use rivotril and valium very and very conservatively, as conservatively as you can and be smart about your choices. But once again, like I already said it earlier in the post, I simply cannot find the proper words to make you understand how important it is to stock pile. I guess that soon I am going to make that thread happen, as I said. in case you are not having a regular doctor and you are self medicating yourself through IOPs then I really recommend you that you would change up your benzos every now and then.

     

    I do know that you don’t want to as soon as you found a good one that works well on you and you would want to stick up with it. however, trust me, for your own well being, you shouldn’t do it.Try to order some say valium for a few months, after that switch to klonopin and after a few more month to lorazepam and so on and so forth. About xanax. I one would ban it from every pharmacy and I would restrict it for only in hospital settings due to the fact that it is an very potent drug with a very short half life, it is basically the midazolam’s brother. Not sure how to explain it to you, but that’s dangerous. You should know that there are some other good, much safer and even cheaper benzos out there, all you have to do is some research. Lots of people are only using xanax not because it is so good, but because it is popular and they just use it. and also, no, you are not going to get high from those drugs like you are going to do from using xanax, however in case you are doing this for getting the high, then, seriously, how did you got up until this point of reading? Why do you even read it all?

     

    So well, I think that this is all that I have, in case you are having any questions then you could feel free to ask it all in the comments and I am going to try my best to reply to my best knowledge in the shortest time. you should stay safe, be smart and I seriously hope that you are going to take care of yourself. And also, please, do not rely on the postal gods because if you do you might end VERY bad. You should rely on your brain only and to have enough benzos (stockpiling part, again) to be able to feed an army if that it is necessary.

     

    PS. I guess I shouldn’t be sorry for this incredibly long post?! I have not thought that it is going to be THAT long. Anyway, I hope that it is worth it and all the time I have spent here (I am already writing this for a while now LOL). wishing you all good luck!"


  • #2

    So well, I am not saying this only because I want you to feel good, but that’s truly an very and very darn good thread! That’s for sure! Unfortunately, or I guess it is fortunately, I am not using benzos that is why I am not able to contribute very much to your thread but I still think that’s an amazing thread that I would surely start reading once again if I would start or stop using benzos. I am only writing about the things that I have experience with, unfortunately (or once again, I guess fortunately) this is not one of them.

     

    I one to find your rescription of withdrawals from the benzos, using yourself as the example, is a raw and unadulterated pic that it is shown from the heart. In doing this I can see you badly want people to do anything that they can in order to avoid going down the same road as you and to end up in those wd nightmares that you have went through. This post of yours is surely very and very informative and it is damn very interesting (I, although never used benzos, still found it so interesting, I imagine how interesting it should be for one who’s been planning to go through benzos wds). I am pretty sure that there are a lot of members out there that are going to post you back and that they are going to find it helpful. once again, a person going through wds would be infinitely helpful to you, I guess.

     

    That is really great to see anybody who is open and is honest enough to put it “out there” and personally for me it truly shows a lot of character that not everybody has it. in short, for somebody who has been having or even is still having anxiety and depression problems then you are really beating those descriptions down and very far, very far away from you and the person that you are!

     

    Posting something like that is showing a lot of confidence in yourself and that’s amazing, I think. you should be proud of yourself. Just keep it up like that. I personally am proud of you although I do not even know you! best of luck to you mate!

    Comment


    • #3

      Honestly, thank you very much Coleman for everything you said up there.

       

      I really felt that I need to share my 15 years of benzo WD experiences due to the fact that I see a lot of people out here and all over the internet asking and begging for some kind of invisible entity of magically have their packages arrive, so well they do not need to go through the hell anymore. this is making me very and very sad, to be honest, when I am reading how people are having only a few pills left in there and they are waiting for the white and blue truck to deliver their ultimate relief they have but if that truck does not show up then it is the hell on the planet.

       

      This is one of the reason why I feel that I SHOULD mention this once again and that’s why I feel that I SHOULD make that thread real: I can’t express myself enough to make you understand how important it is stock piling and to encourage people not to be ashamed in case push comes shove to reach out and to get some help. it really seems to me that there are a lot of people who still do not fully understand that they are playing around with some very and very dangerous toy, there are still lots of people not realizing that these are not just some kind of “tiny pill”, and then ultimately they do (because this is inevitably), but it is already too late.

      Comment


      • #4

        I definitely do agree with you and I think that it is some great information out there everybody should check it who’s on benzos. I think that anybody who is going through the benzo withdrawals they should check out the Ashton Manual. Simply search for it online, you are going to find it easily because it is very popular and it is so popular due to the fact that it is the Holy Bible of benzo withdrawal!!

         

        My own benzo story has started when I have quit using etizolam also cold turkey back in 2014, 2 years ago. it was amazingly hard and horrible feeling. I could not sleep for the first three days, jerking awake every 5 – 10 seconds or so. The dizziness and vertigo that were following me seemed to be so bad that I could even lift my head off the floor. And it has been just the first week. Those symptoms were so bad and long lasting that they dragged on for more than a year and a half and it even lead me to 2 suicide attempts (that bad it was). Every physical and neurological system is affected now, I know it. the worst of the symptoms for me were the depression (which made me had 2 suicide attempts), anxiety and panic constant as well as cognitive impairment. For me it has been like a near like 2 years of panic attack with not a moment of respite at all.
        I can only tell you that I do remember that it is going better with time, even though it may not feel like it some days. there have been days when I have even been thinking that I am getting worse but then later I realized that I am simply going back to a normal state of mind. In fact, even though 2 years have already passed but I am still not fully recovered. In fact, I am only about 85 – max. 90% healed now and I am feeling better every day. thanks god. By the way, for those interested, exercise has been my savior during the very bad and the darkest days out there even though I have to say that I really always hated exercising. I never thought that what I hate might be my savior. But that’s just how it is. so you shouldn’t expect any kind of immediate relief from getting off drugs. In fact I can tell you this: the worst you expect, the better it is going to be. never expect that you are going to get cured easily, effortless and so on.

        Comment


        • #5

          Hey there OP. thank you very much for putting this post together. That’s truly a life savior for somebody getting through benzo WD’s. I am suffering now from an very awful insomnia and have done so for some years that is why tolerance has gotten extremely high for me. in fact, I have noticed that I get tolerance EXTREMELY fast to any drugs at all. things have gotten even worse over the last months  and I think that it has been a combination of both my extremely big tolerance to them as well as an very easy access to the products online. I am currently waiting for 2 more orders (not sure if they would appear) but I really hope that they are going to be the last one. in fact, as I said in my other post, I hope they are going to get customs seized and I would get a refund. There’s a post of mine about trying to get some sleep. Insomnia is what I am dealing with now and I am now better compared to how I used to be. there’s a day by day description of mine. You could search here on the forum if you’re interested. Also on harm reduction thread and also going off cold turkey.

           

          By the way, never could afford a stock pile.

          Comment


          • #6

            Originally posted by HaNNaH

            I definitely do agree with you and I think that it is some great information out there everybody should check it who’s on benzos. I think that anybody who is going through the benzo withdrawals they should check out the Ashton Manual. Simply search for it online, you are going to find it easily because it is very popular and it is so popular due to the fact that it is the Holy Bible of benzo withdrawal!!

             

            My own benzo story has started when I have quit using etizolam also cold turkey back in 2014, 2 years ago. it was amazingly hard and horrible feeling. I could not sleep for the first three days, jerking awake every 5 – 10 seconds or so. The dizziness and vertigo that were following me seemed to be so bad that I could even lift my head off the floor. And it has been just the first week. Those symptoms were so bad and long lasting that they dragged on for more than a year and a half and it even lead me to 2 suicide attempts (that bad it was). Every physical and neurological system is affected now, I know it. the worst of the symptoms for me were the depression (which made me had 2 suicide attempts), anxiety and panic constant as well as cognitive impairment. For me it has been like a near like 2 years of panic attack with not a moment of respite at all.
            I can only tell you that I do remember that it is going better with time, even though it may not feel like it some days. there have been days when I have even been thinking that I am getting worse but then later I realized that I am simply going back to a normal state of mind. In fact, even though 2 years have already passed but I am still not fully recovered. In fact, I am only about 85 – max. 90% healed now and I am feeling better every day. thanks god. By the way, for those interested, exercise has been my savior during the very bad and the darkest days out there even though I have to say that I really always hated exercising. I never thought that what I hate might be my savior. But that’s just how it is. so you shouldn’t expect any kind of immediate relief from getting off drugs. In fact I can tell you this: the worst you expect, the better it is going to be. never expect that you are going to get cured easily, effortless and so on.

             

            Hello there HaNNaH, yeah, unfortunately, the withdrawals could last for years, that’s true. even after one full year I have still been experiencing some unbearable tinnitus, some insomnia, panic attacks, anxiety, night terrors and so on and so forth. They have not been the same severity and intensity, however they still have been annoying. This is why I have gave in and currently I am back on them, however this time around I am being much more smarter about it, or at least I really try so with some constant doctor supervision about it and no more recreational use and what’s even more important for me: no xanax at all this time!
            And yeah, I do agree, exercise, physical activity is extremely helpful and also a good diet is going to do a lot for this. the combination of the 2 is the key getting through a somehow easier WD period.

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            • #7

              Originally posted by Olcou1960

              Hey there OP. thank you very much for putting this post together. That’s truly a life savior for somebody getting through benzo WD’s. I am suffering now from an very awful insomnia and have done so for some years that is why tolerance has gotten extremely high for me. in fact, I have noticed that I get tolerance EXTREMELY fast to any drugs at all. things have gotten even worse over the last months  and I think that it has been a combination of both my extremely big tolerance to them as well as an very easy access to the products online. I am currently waiting for 2 more orders (not sure if they would appear) but I really hope that they are going to be the last one. in fact, as I said in my other post, I hope they are going to get customs seized and I would get a refund. There’s a post of mine about trying to get some sleep. Insomnia is what I am dealing with now and I am now better compared to how I used to be. there’s a day by day description of mine. You could search here on the forum if you’re interested. Also on harm reduction thread and also going off cold turkey.

               

              By the way, never could afford a stock pile.

               

              I am sorry for writing 2 different posts but I don’t know how to quote both of you so I do it again. Olcou I am very glad to hear all of that and that you are now better than how you used to be in the past. It is not meant to be for long term usage, however there are some of us who simply cannot do without it.

               

              Also, judging by the “tone” that you have had in the post, I think that you are on a relatively low dosage and you are most likely not on the most potent stuff either, not sure if I’m right. I guess I have to read your thread to understand it, I definitely will read it.

               

              Once again, I am glad that you are now getting better and I am sure that you are going to be successful! Trust me I am going to keep my fingers crossed for you.

               

              About the stock pile. I have to say that it is really no that expensive as you might think about it. 50 to 100 $ you can get 2 or 3 month’s worth of medicine, to me it is definitely an surely worth it! I do not use the top shelf stuff, that’s true, that might get a little bit more expensive, they are really good brands stuff that goes around 200 bucks for approximately a 3 or 3 month’s worth.

               

              However I think that we most likely should not talk about this over here since it is the open part of the forum.

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              • #8

                Thank you very much Scioner for this great post. I have started to cut back little by little and I am currently still in the process of doing it. I am now in the “feel the vomiting stage” however I do know how if it is that or how scared I am about my husband upcoming surgery in a week. I am now very afraid because he is looking like he is not physically strong and I just keep asking him if he is thinking that he can go through with it and he always says yes, but I am now still very afraid of going as a wife and then coming home alone as a widow… that’s unbelievable hrd.

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                • #9

                  Originally posted by CaitlynNn

                  Thank you very much Scioner for this great post. I have started to cut back little by little and I am currently still in the process of doing it. I am now in the “feel the vomiting stage” however I do know how if it is that or how scared I am about my husband upcoming surgery in a week. I am now very afraid because he is looking like he is not physically strong and I just keep asking him if he is thinking that he can go through with it and he always says yes, but I am now still very afraid of going as a wife and then coming home alone as a widow… that’s unbelievable hrd.

                   

                  Hello there Caitlyn, I am very glad that you have found my post somehow helpful! you just need to keep in mind and remember that most of those experiences come from absolutely cold turkey tapering method. for you personally it may be that this is not the best time to start cutting back on your medications because of all the stress that it is going on with your husband now. there is no need, I guess, to add to it, in my opinion. or maybe you should do the ashton manual, and do a little bit of cutting, however you need to add a bit of valium to it. though I am not sure because this is only my humble personal opinion about it. hope it would be helpful.

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                  • #10

                    Hey there scioner, thank you once again for everything. You’re a really good person and your post has been very and very informative and trust me very helpful! I can guess that it has been most likely a pretty hard thing to write about your personal experience like that this is why I would like to sincerely thank you very much for doing that and trying to help people like me.

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                    • #11

                      I my personal opinion this is going to make an amazing sticky thread. A moderator really should do it. the advice as well as the experience and care that are put into it are making this thread an absolute top notch post! I think. moderators, isn’t this true? I one thing that it is going to be an invaluable help to those people and members here who are daily struggling with this, and considering the fact that there are a lot of people dealing with this then this would be very helpful!

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                      • #12

                        Hello there Scioner, this is truly an amazing thread that really deserves to be sticky, to get all the thanks and stars in here. honestly, I think that you are so dead on about the benzo addiction. I personally can relate to all of what you have said, all 100%. You gave here to all of us an excellent portrayal and overall picture about benzo hell as well as some excellent advises! That’s truly amazing! I one think that this should be a must read for anybody who is wanting to, considering or thinking to start on benzos on a regular basis. Or especially for those who want to get off them. I personally am physically addicted to benzos myself. I have been on all the various kinds over the last 20 years or even more than that. the withdrawals from the benzos are truly unbearable, I didn’t know this when I started but even if you are missing your dose for one single day, if I miss it 2 days then that’s hell on the earth and more than 3 days then I really wish that I were dead!

                         

                        I am really trying to take only what it is prescribed to me for the month. I do know that if I want to feel the intended effects of it then I would need to take approximately about only half of my monthly script. But that’s truly insane. I am not able to refill early and I do know well the hell that it is coming with withdrawal. I did say that “ for sleep, I am using trazadone, or if I am having some extra Klonopin or maybe Valium”, however this is on some very rare occasions. I did not mean to convey to anybody that it is taking Klonopin or valium for getting some sleep is a good option, it is not a good choice for everybody and especially for those people that does not have a physical benzo addiction. I would seriously never wish this Benzo hell to anybody because I do know what it is like to have them, as Scioner, this can be felt from his words. I do take the Trazadone which is an old anti depressant that it is knocking you out, however it is having no withdrawals at all.

                         

                        And yeah, I totally do agree with what Coleman has said as well as with anybody saying that this is an great thread!

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                        • #13

                          hello there. firstly I guess I have to say that I am truly sorry that you have had to go through what you have gone through. I really am because I can only imagine that horror that you have went through! I am having panic disorder, however I do not get my xanax online, exactly as you, I have been diagnosed with it at a very young age, I was 14 or 15 years old. I have never ever abused it though and I do not drink alcohol. I am a very rare drinker but never drink alcohol with xanax or something like this.

                           

                          I have already said this in the past: for those people of you who do rely on the online pharmacies for the benzo of choice you have then you should most likely stock pile in case you are having a shipment lost or what have you. you have already described in little details what a person is getting through when he/she is having xanax withdrawals which surely does not make it worth to rely on the “postal gods” as you have said. stockpile is merely the only option. and that risk of death if you are going to stop it abruptly! Better pay attention to all this!

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                          • #14

                            Agreed that this is an amazing thread, however also, please, you should be aware that there are some of us who are using or have used benzos in the past (or also opioids) and did not ever experienced clinical physical or any psychological addiction. you should understand that this group of “weirdo” people (and yeah, including me here either) are at no time to be considered as the average consumer. That’s because we are kind of strange. As I already said it. but there are some of us, only a very few of us, but we still are and do not forget about us.

                             

                            I only want those very few people of us that have never experienced a high or any other “desirable” or whatever outcome from taking such kinds of substances, to not feel as though you do not belong on this forum. And yeah, you do belong here as much as the forum members who are suffering through withdrawals or some anxiety about shipments.

                             

                            And yeah… crap… I am being allergic to nearly everything that is why I can hardly act as patient zero. Peace everybody and I hope you’ll never live the hell-ish described above as it truly seem to be very hard to deal with and get through this period.

                            Comment


                            • #15

                              “so well, I have to say that I am reading a lot of stories (posts) all over the internet about how people are days away from going into the benzo withdrawals as well as how bad they are relying on the “postal gods” as well as magic wands or whatever else.”

                               

                              Scioner said this and when I read this I had to say… very well, excuse me sir but… I have been using Magic Wands as well as Fairy Dust for years on end so you should not knock it until you have tried it yourself.

                               

                              Also Scioner, thank you very much for your post, it was spot on, I do know! and yeah,

                               

                              Post Scriptum, you have forgot to add here that part about your heart beating out of your chest and being spread out in the bed so that no part of your body to be touched another. Though about that heart rate you’ve mentioned it is understandable. Besides, if you are watching a movie (as you recommended) then you are making up your own plot. Isn’t that true, Scioner? I am not kidding. You are.

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