20 years old pregnant with twins

[pinkshadow]

I have no idea what to do.. I have a very serious situation and I understand very well that I can’t change it now. My behavior is changing every day and I am forgetting how it is to live without stressful situations anymore. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and I thought that we were happy together. I was sure that he will be with me forever and I was sure that he will never let me alone – I was wrong. Everything changed in a second, the day I found out that I’m pregnant. I wasn’t secure that he would be happy but I was sure that at least he will support me with this, at least he would TRY to do it but no... I told him that I’m pregnant and he left me, without asking me anything else, and without discussing about this, without doing anything at all, he simply left like that… I was shocked… Obviously, I didn’t expected something like this to happen. After some months I found out that actually I expect twins and this situation became even more critical than it was before.. I was seriously nervous and I understood that I can’t have a bright future anymore, being a single mom for twins. Everybody started to support me and to tell me that actually everything its okay and that even if I don’t have a man now this doesn’t mean that I’ll never have one in future. Speaking seriously I thought about this, but please… who would like to have a girlfriend with twins, I know very well that there’s only a man in a million who would sign for this, and I don’t judge them…

 

It’s more difficult that I thought and I know that my life is going to be hard as hell from now on. I know that all my friends and my parents are trying to support me and that’s why they invent different kind of positive things that they think will help me to stay positive. I know that approximately all the things that they tell me are lies that are keeping me away from reality. Some days ago I have heard my mom speaking with my dad about my situation, she started to cry and she repeated all the time that she is scared about my future. Honestly I’m scared too… I was scared about one baby but now that I have 2 of them and sincerely I think that this is going to be a double problem. I don’t hate my children, don’t misunderstand me, but having twins when you’re single – that’s a problem, let’s face it.

 

Every time before going to sleep I imagine how it will be to have my boyfriend by my side, to be happy to smile and to know that everyone are expecting my babies, then I fall asleep and in the next morning I turn back in my reality… full of bad things and of situations that I can’t solve. I don’t know what to do… I would like to have some advices or at least to find those women that have had the same thing, I would like to find at least one example, to be sure that I can have a big future even if now I’m alone, even if now nobody needs me. if there are women who have had similar situations and can help me a little bit from your own experience that would be awesome!

 

[Highness]

First of all I would like to say that you’re wrong and this is not good to say “ nobody needs me”. You have your parents and your friends that are by your side and that are ready to invent different things to support and to make sure that you’re okay, you can’t say this thing, you’re wrong. Secondly, I’m very sorry about this situation but once you found out the situation and now that you know that your life is going to change, you have to remember that you have the opportunity to start a new life like you want.
You’re going to become a mother; you’re not going to die. I understand your mother, of course she is afraid about your situation, and of course she cries because she cares, that’s why you have to understand that they are telling you those lies because they want to you to be at least a little bit more happy and to believe in yourself more, and secondly they are telling you these lies because your baby don’t deserve to grow up in a full stress – I guess you know that all your stress can have a very bad impact on your babies. You can search information about this that being stressful is very bad for your body and now just imagine how stressful is going to be for your babies, that’s not a joke.

 

Look, I understand that maybe now you can think that I know nothing about this and that I’m very severe in this situation, but I think that you have to be strong, you have to become a strong woman and mother, your babies shouldn’t be blamed in anything in this situation and I think that they deserve to grow up in a good atmosphere.
One thing that your friends and relatives told you isn’t a lie and this is that you’ll find another person that will love you, even if you have twins. I know a big amount of women that live like this and they are happy, and you have the same opportunity like others the only thing that you have to do is just to believe in your future. Everything is going to be alright, just believe in it and don’t let anybody to get you down.

 

[Eva123]

Hey girl, I would like to support you and to encourage you. I have almost the same situation but I think that my situation is a little bit more critical than yours. I was 35 when I got pregnant for the second time. My husband and I we have already had a girl - Lisa and when I got pregnant for the first time he was happy until he found out that actually I’m expecting twins’ girls. I lived with him for 10 years I have never thought before that he hated my, his daughter... I always thought that he loved our daughter but in reality he always wanted to have a boy. When he found out that I’m pregnant, he already has created 2 plans. The plan A was linked with the fact that I’ll have a baby boy and he will stay with me of course, but plan B was to dump me if he is going to find out that I’ll have a baby girl again. Of course I think that you understood what happened when he found out that there are other 2 girls, he said that he cannot support it anymore.

 

I remember those moments, and now that I’m 47 I understand that everything that I have done was okay, I remember all of the situations, all of my tears and I understand that if I’m ever going to have the opportunity to change my life or to start again I’ll do the same thing, to get pregnant and to have my girls.  when he dumped me I was very stressed and I couldn’t eat for a month, the husband that I knew, that I loved, dumped me and I have never thought that this would ever be possible. After some months during one night I understood that this was the best thing that happened to me, you know why? At the beginning when he left me I started to blame my girls because they aren’t boys but after this I understood that actually this was the best part of my life to have 2 girls. I imagined the situation in which I have 2 boys and that he would have stayed with me, but I remembered about my first daughter Elisa and I understood that she would have been abandoned by her father’s love because I understand very well that he will love his boys and not our girl. I understood that it would have been such a big mistake to grow up in a family were you understand that your dad doesn’t love you because of the sex, that’s simply not fair.

 

From that day passed more than 10 years, and you know what? I’m happy. I found my second husband 5 years ago, I was 40 years old, and now I’m happily married. He loves my daughters and he always repeated me that he will never change his life, and that he want to live with me and my daughters forever.  Now I’m 45 and I’m expecting my 4th children, and guess what? It’s a girl again – as expect. Trust me I’m excited but he is more excited than me! Be sure that everything is going to be okay and after some time you’ll come back here and will tell your story with a happy ending. I know it!! you should know it too.

 

[pinkshadow]

You have such an amazing story, and you encouraged me very much. I found the thing that I wanted to hear and after your story I started to think that actually you’re right and that everything in this life is possible. I hope that this is a test from God that I have to pass in order to be happy. Of course for now it’s a little bit difficult to accept all your words but I really hope that after some time I am going to agree with all of your affirmations. Thank you very much for everything once again.