A bullet fired into my home!

[SoPhyMe]

Hello my name is Sophie, and two years ago I lived in a dangerous area. One night when I was sleeping a bullet fired into my home and missed my head by three feet. That night three years ago, when I was at home I heard that gun fire, like the bullet was projected close to me and I thought that there will be a shootout. The shooter that was there shot a balcony near my bedroom. From the next morning I literally stopped living. I was scared about everything, strange thoughts and feelings and this is repeating over and over again. I began to have nightmares, day area, flashbacks, and also I became sensible to everything, noise, and other stuff that did not bothered me before this, it started to irritate me. Now I’m in therapy. I’m trying to move on and to forget this but it’s so hard. What do you think? Is this so serious? Should I worry about my mental state? Does anyone ever recover? I mean that this is really strange and I shouldn’t feel this way. For example one day a couple of batteries has fallen down and I immediately remember that horrible day and I started to cry. I was feeling like someone shoots me. This is abnormal, help if you can, please.

 

 

[Excuse]

Wow, I never thought that there are other people with this but the way you are feeling right now is exactly what I'm feeling and going thru every day for years. I'm always scared and I always panic at every single little noise I hear. I had a really bad trauma 5 years ago, and since then I can't live my previous life, before all that. 5 years passed and I'm still stressed because of that and I cannot live normally, as I did before. I'm feeling horrible... it is horrible... I'm always experiencing it so I'm sure that it has changed my life, people who should be around me and completely the way it should be. Sometimes this thing can be eased for a little time but it comes right back and it never ever went away completely. I'm always feeling on the edge and like I'm about to fall. I've visited some therapists and they said this is called hyper vigilant. However, in my opinion, my trauma was ever really diagnosed or even treated normally. My family and I (of course my family more) are currently trying to get some money and to pay for a good therapist who knows how to deal with trauma. I really understand you - it is not the way we should feel but for one reason or another we're feeling this way and unfortunately we can't escape from it. As you, I really would want to know if anyone ever recovered from being hyper vigilant. About the other questions: yes, it is serious (I assume how my situation is) and yeah... we should worry about our mental state because if we're living this way for many years and we can't change it then something definitely isn't right. I really would want to speak to someone who ever could escape from that constant and underlying fear we're living every day. Good luck to you and I hope that someday we're going to live our life normally.

 

[NataMe]

I don’t know if hyper vigilant stage will ever be over but what I do know is that you are not alone with this and I believe there are even much more of us living with this too. I was feeling completely normal and I didn’t even knew what means hyper vigilant about a year and few months ago until one night three robbers sneaked into my house and robbed us. I will never forget that night. Everything seemed fine, we (my husband and I) were watching TV as always until they appeared right before us. They pointed their guns at us. Even know adrenaline is starting to run into my veins only remembering once again about that. I had a gun shoved in my face and was told not to make a sound. My husband was hit in his face and then they held a gun in the back of his head. A little more than one year passed but I’m still not fully recovered and I doubt that I will ever be. Police didn’t found them. First few months was the most horrible time of my life. I could barely go outside. Whenever I had to go out in public I was afraid like crazy. My husband was trying to help me and he did but so much time passed until it happened. I wasn’t afraid just of being robbed once again or somethin’ but I was afraid that suddenly someone will walk in wherever I was and would start shooting people down. Each time I was driving I was afraid that someone would break into my car. Whenever I was home I was afraid that someone will walk again into my house. I know that I’m still paranoid sometimes even though I’m doing much better than during the first few months after that night. I’m still very sensitive to sudden noises and I just cannot continue keeping patience whenever someone walks behind me. Each time when I’m getting into my car I just have to check my backseat and each time when I’m entering our house before my husband, the first thing I have to do is to check all the rooms.  For many people this might seem crazy and maybe someone thinks that I’m crazy but not everyone passed thru something like this, or maybe indeed I’m too sensitive and hyper vigilant. Anyway, I’m thankful that I’m doing better now even though I’m definitely not completely over it and as I said, I doubt that I will ever be. That night has changed my life and who I am completely. Honestly I hate it but I understand that there’s nothing I can do. Maybe a therapy will help me, but I don’t have those money…