Afraid of death

[dwaye11]

I know what being afraid of death is normal and everybody is afraid of it but in my case it's a little differently. This feeling of being scared of dying is coming frequently - I'm constantly thinking about it which is not a normal thing. I can suddenly wake up at night totally terrified about it and thinking that I'm going to die now. I always have thoughts about the meaning of the life and I like these discussions subjects. Frequently we talk about it during late nights. I'm always questioning what is going to happen after life, what happens after we die? I'm not feeling it now because of my mood or something like that, unfortunately I have these thoughts since I was a kid. I'm worried about myself, is there anything I can do about it?

 

[diannnne]

Unfortunately I can't answer your question whether you could do something about it or no, but I would like to say that I'm having similar symptoms and I would love to share my story... Recently I got over my depression, but not in natural way, some medications helped me doing it. I stopped taking them and now I'm drugs free BUT those depressing feelings I had similar to what you've described up there I have periodically. These thoughts can suddenly hit my brain and then I'm totally terrified! I cannot go to sleep because of them and I'm afraid that I or my children can die. Even if I fell asleep I have really terrible dreams, I can wake up at night screaming or crying really bad... I never talked to my friends or relatives about this, they may think I'm crazy but I'm just terrified of death. I have these dreams for years already and what scares me is that they appear to be so real. Whenever I have one of them I'm feeling like everything is real I can't understand whether is a dream or not. It sucks waking up after such a dream, and then all day long remembering its terrible scenes... I don't want to die and none of my family member, but I just keep getting these things...

 

[Yolanda]

I'm having it too! I'm always afraid of death, it's like I'm followed by it and I can see it coming it closer!!

 

I'm also having terrible dreams, dreams that sometimes have come true and it's really scaryyyy and I also have terrible dreams for very long time, as you dianne. I can't sleep because if it most nights. I worry soooo much about my husband, I have very vivid dreams about him and lots of them. I can't talking to him about it because he might think I'm crazy, or I don't know, however I don't want to talking about these things, I think it wouldn't be normal to relate him what I've seen in my dreams. I can't handle this, it's hard, scary and odd. I understand you perfectly dianne, neither I want to die or one of my family member. I don't understand what I've done for having this. I do believe in God, in his power and in heaven. I go to church and pray but it doesn't help every time. It so painful seeing in your dreams, really vivid dreams, every family member to die.

 

Sometimes I just hug them in the morning when this is happening and they just don't understand. I really hope that God will help us all getting over this

 

[crazymom]

I have read all of you posts and it's definitely better knowing that I'm not alone who's thinking about this continously. I have this anxiety or depression too and it is really hard dealing with this when no one understands you and your loved ones thinks that you're going crazy already. I'm constantly thinking about this and I'm not happy either, but what can I do? I think about it every single day, I don't remember when was the last day when I didn't had a fear of dying. This sever anxiety is messing with my life and I'm desperate what should I do to make it stop? I have a 9 years old daughter and she does know that I was at the hospital few months ago and now she thinks that I have a problem and she fears that I'm going to pass away soon. I don't know how should I explain to her that I won't even though I'm having the same thoughts and fears. I can't understand what makes me think that I'm going to pass away young and I will leave my daughter alone. But she's all I'm living for. I'm worried about everything now! I'm scared and I don't have anyone who might help me. Her father abandoned us long time ago and I'm always alone with my thoughts. My daughter said that her worst nightmare is that I'm going to pass away and I'm very afraid not to make this come true. I wish that I'm going to live at least until my daughter is going to grow up as much as she needs for being fine with it. After that it is normal, everyone is going to die so I could say welcome to my death, but until then I guess I will live with this fear but I really wish it could go away. If someone has something for me and could help then please, HELP! Thank you.

 

[deonline01]

i know how is to feel so... my problem doesn't seem to be as bad as yours but i have the same issue, the same fear. i remember that it started one day when i was going to school and suddenly this question popped out in my head when i saw one car crashed in another. those people died in front of my within few seconds. immediately i thought that they were alive few minutes ago without thinking that they will die few minutes later! it really affected me and i still think about this frequently! i'm always questioning myself what if this is the last day of our life? it took me good years to deal with it but sometimes this question it's still in my head. i'm thinking the whole day about this when it happens and my head hurts really bad! i can say that i'm always having this fear that we can day. i'm always thinking what if this is your last day? no one knows when we're going to die. i know that one day we all are going to die so this isn't normal, it shouldn't be this way! in those days when i have this, for example today, i call them crazy days and i can't concentrate on my daily business. it's very weird and unusual! all my friends know about my issue and they're kinda trying to help me out and i think this helps me a little bit but still i can't get it out of my head. about three years ago i thought that i can't go like that any more, i thought that i'm giving up so i decided to visit a psychologist and i don't really know how much it helped me but this fear of dying is still there, i can feel it! i only know that life is worth living, life is beautiful and we shouldn't let this fear and these thoughts to ruin it. i'm always thinking that we have to be strong, strong enough to subdue this fear. whenever i'm having these crazy days i'm always sitting alone and thinking, thinking and again thinking about everything. sometimes my friends notice this thing and they understand what is going on and they are helping me, they remember me about those good old times when we had fun time together. to be honest i'm thankful to my friends, they are really nice guys and i got help numerous times from them. we just have to stand up and to fight it! to fight it every day lest we're going to be swallowed by darkness and live our whole life in it. i'm truly sorry for everyone here who is having this problem! fight with the fear creating good memories!

 

[NorrieFF]

I have recently developed the same fear and lately I have noticed that I'm way too much thinking about it and it's interfering with my daily life business because I barely can concentrate on other things besides this. Being new who's feeling like this I just wanted to say that I am glad I'm not the only one who feels this way and I wanted to know whether this is normal or not. I'm 5 years married with a man and we have 2 beautiful girls and everything seems fine but still I have this strange thought. What is scaring me is the thought that I will no longer be around them anymore, they are only 3 years old and 8 months old and I have imagining what could happen with them if I die and many other terrifying thoughts. I'm only 24 years old and I don't seem to have some health issues but anyway, I still have this strange thought... I would like very much to know how I can stop thinking about it. I have started to feel and to think this way after I have lost my mom 2 months ago. When I was at the funeral sitting there all like that I got suddenly hit by this thought, what if I am going to die soon too? What is going to happen next with my little girls? I got to the point that I started to cry even harder that day. Sometimes when I'm surrounded all day long by these thought I can suddenly start crying without any particular reason. I'm not sure if this is normal. We all know that at some point it will happen but we don't really know how, where or when. I don't know but I have a feeling like if my girls would be older and they could take care by themselves on their own I would not have this terrible thoughts. I really think that we all should just enjoy whatever time we may have left because one day or another, this is going to happen and we're just going to think why we wasted so much time doing useless things. I also want to ask everyone: maybe this is something normal that everybody is going thru in a specific period of time? Or there's indeed something wrong in my head?

 

[Seemorger90]

Hi everybody. I want to say that I’m feeling very good when I read this thread now. I know very well what are you talking about and I understand every single word you said here. I am suffering from panic attacks, from anxiety and from depression for a long time and I do take some medications but even so I am still feeling alone like I’m the only one in this world. Basically, this is nonsense because around me are people that I love and respect but that’s the way I’m feeling now. few days ago I started to think about dying and death and I realized that I am very and very scared to die and it gets even scarier that I can die young. I guess that my real fear is not death itself but I am scared of not fulfilling my hopes, I’m afraid that I can die and I won’t make my goals become true. Also, I have another fear that when I’ll die, I won’t say goodbye to my loved one, like I won’t be able to tell goodbye to everyone I want to tell. In such case I won’t be able to tell them that I love them. moreover, in such case I can also have some unfinished business to take care of. all this makes me think that my life is not gonna be finished. I just want l to live a fully life, I mean a healthy long life without unfinished business and others. I know this is not right because all my grandparents have lived (and are still living) a pretty long life and by all means I have that going for me too but nobody ever knows. I remember that I was scared of getting a serious illness like cancer since I was young, since I was a young kid. I don’t know why I was getting these thoughts that I can probably die young and I won’t fulfill my life but I am basically living with this all my life and this is very hard. I guess that many of you can relate this. I started to think about this when I was in a very young age but then everything worsened when I was in high school and a lot of kids from my class or in the same age as I was died. Everybody died from different causes like cancer, being hit by a car and other factors but this made me even more scared. Before those kids I didn’t knew other people who died personally but after that time, my anxiety got so bad that I was thinking every single day that I could be next. And living with this isn’t easy at all. Each time I hear somebody saying that he or she is suffering from cancer I realize that this illness can hit me too and this really freaks me out. If you know what I’m talking about then you know that thinking about stuff like this makes you feel literally sick because you develop insomnia, develop stomach pains and headaches and this is triggering even more thoughts that I’m dying. This is like a circle that goes on and on without stopping and there’s no way out of it. people often tell me that I should stop being a hypochondriac and I agree with them, but I can’t. I know that our brain is a strange but powerful thing, the problem is that I can’t handle it and this makes me lose my mind slowly.

 

Well, with all this said, I have to add that it really feels a little bit better knowing that I am not the only one who is going through all this all alone by myself. when I see similar posts to yours and I see people like you who is trying to get out of the circle it gives me hope. I don’t know why but without you knowing, you’re supporting me and your support is kind of helping me. I guess it feels so good because I’m living my real life when I see that everyone around me is “normal” but I’m not, I’m the only one who is having this kind of issue and it makes me feel alone. Loneliness is all around me.