hi everyone I have such a big problem and I need your help really very much! The thing is that my husband and I we tried for such a long time and nothing happened at the end I just woke up at the end with some spotting and I feel like I have failed again. A lot of people that already had kids told me that during this time the only thing that I have to do is to stay positive, to believe that this will happen and that sooner or later it’s going to happen. I find it really difficult to stay positive I tried a lot of times to think about it like something that will happen soon, but every time I woke up spotting again makes me feel really sad about this. I talked with my doctor about this he told me that there is nothing to worry about but this continues for some month and I don’t know how to react. Please help me with this problem, maybe there is somebody that can just help me, maybe you have been passed through something like this and you know what to do!
having a very strage feeling
- Thread starter debra
- Start date
pinkshadow
New member
I was having the same problem actually, I have tried really very much, about 19 months or maybe even more and I was sure that there was something wrong with me or with my husband, all the tests, blood and so on were okay, we have passed all the possible exams and or doctor told us that everything is okay, the only thing that we have to do is to keep trying, there was a period of time when I was quite sure that I’m going to quit it, as I was so pissed about this, my friends that started the journey of trying with me at the same time already had kids and I was there still continuing to try. Anyway now, I have a baby boy and I’m happy. I think that soon you’re going to have a baby, everything is gonna be cool. Just don’t give up!
Oh well… you know… I have already had 3 people at my work just in the past month who have announced that they are expecting a baby now and in addition to that there’s also my sister in law that just announced that she has got pregnant with her second baby and that’s without even trying to get pregnant at all… that was, as she said, a ‘surprise’. And that’s why I perfectly understand your ideas and what are you trying to say. Plus to that, lately all that I see on facebook is more and more and new announcements of people getting pregnant. Facebook makes it feel even worse and harder to get through all of this. it just feels really really hard because it feels like everybody is getting pregnant, of course, except me… I really hope that we are going to get the news that we want to come… to be honest, I lately am thinking that I might come off facebook for a while so I do not see all of these updates and all the people’s announcements that they are getting pregnant and I don’t.
oh yeah, I perfectly understand what are you talking about, especially the facebook part as I am feeling exactly the same and I was thinking to close facebook once and forever (or at least until I get pregnant)… I do understand and I know very well that it is upsetting when you are seeing all of those announcements, however when we all eventually are getting out turn then I am 100% sure that we are going to be shouting it from the roof tops! Or at least I think that I surely will do it. I already see how I am going to dance when I will be told that I am pregnant… and I have big hopes that we are going to be all up there shouting as much as we can and dancing being happy that we’re pregnant and I hope that this is going to happen as soon as possible!
That’s very interesting that I am not the only one who found it hard to stay on facebook lately because of this… and I do understand your feeling when you say that it can be very upsetting at times! And I have found it really hard to explain to other people how it feels… especially to those who simply do not understand what we are going through when you just don’t get the news that you’re pregnant… although you’re trying so hard. Lately I’m always trying to just keep on thinking about the moment when I am going to see a positive test. I imagine those 2 lines out there. and I imagine how big of happiness that’s going to be when I will check it at my gyne and she’s going to say that I’m indeed pregnant. Unfortunately I haven’t experienced one so far… I really hope a lot that you are going to be getting good news as soon as possible, and that’s addressing to everyone who is waiting to get pregnant!
Hey there everyone, I just wanted to say that I perfectly understand each one of you as I am feeling exactly the same, and I know that it is very hard when you see someone getting pregnant without even trying and then there’s me who just cannot ‘reach’ it. hope is the only thing that keeps me alive now. I really wish that I could remember what it felt like not to be wishing that I was pregnant every single second of every single day… but you know… to me this has went up to a whole new level… to a point where I am trying to accept that it won’t ever happen to me because of some unknown reasons, but acceptance is hard because each month I still let myself to have at least some hope and after having that hope (although I try to keep it inside of me), the fall it is twice as hard… and I have tried, as much as I know… everything… opks tem charting… apps… and after that stopping charting… I read that vitamin B can help you get pregnant and I purchased so much supplements of vitamin B from all brands and companies that I just found. And I was taking a double dose daily of them… generally not only vitamin B, in fact, I have been using every supplements that I have ever read that it helps! I am drinking nettle tea. I have already cut a lot of coffee from my life (although I’m a big coffee lover!) nearly to 0 and we have tried dtd every single day… every second day… we have tried everything… we have tried preseed… not to mention that we had bloods done, sperm analysis and everything analysis… and now I am left with the thought that it would 100% happen by the 9th month of trying (now is the 9th month that we try) if there was everything alright… since it doesn’t happen then something is wrong and that’s for sure. Every single time we are trying I get a new hope… I am looking at birth control pills and at condoms as if they are my biggest enemies. I had an emotional crash when there was a guy in front of my at pharmacy who asked for condoms… I am now ready to give up… I do realize that all of this is already making me be an emotional riot now!
pinkshadow
New member
hey there Ruby, I only wanted to tell you that the average for a healthy couple it is 6 months of trying in order to get pregnant and this means that it can take much longer for a lot of other couples out there, and this is completely normal. What I am trying to say is that in case all of the analysis say that there’s everything fine with both of you (and reading your post that’s the impression I’ve got) then you’ve just got to keep trying and it will happen. average is 6 months. You’ve tried for 9. You have lots of chances that it will happen in the next month or in the next few months…
with all of this being said, I have to add that I find it to be completely craziness as we are given the impression that pregnancy is really easy and very fast… yeah, I do agree that there are couples getting pregnant without even trying… easily and fast, however that’s by far not for everyone… and I think that there are few people out there who get so easily and fast pregnant. But I do understand you very well… these last 9 months that you were trying may feel like forever, I do know this, however it is not that long when it is coming to getting pregnant, trust me… there are people who tried for MUCH more longer than that and they got pregnant. What I’m trying to say is that there’s always a chance and you shouldn’t give up. You shouldn’t stress out either, so much that you start doing crazy stuff like breaking up with your partner or such (as I heard of such stories…). In case all of your tests are good then it should happen soon. I keep my fingers crossed for you and hopefully you would come back soon with good news. All the best 
IsabelIsabel2
New member
Hello there RubyRytha and lots of hugs! I wanted to say that I have big hopes that it would happen soon for you! have your blood reads been fine? if they are alright then, as said by the previous member, just keep on trying. It could take you a lot more but it could happen tomorrow. The most important thing is if all the tests are alright. But the reason why I tell you that it could take it much more or it can happen tomorrow is because it has taken us 3 years from starting ttc to my daughter born… and I am sorry but I just want you to be prepared and that’s why I’ve got to tell you that I personally found it to be exactly as hard that first year as I have found it to be all the following years… what I try to say is that you shouldn’t think that it is going to get easy and in the same time you shouldn’t give up because… think what would happen if I would have given up? I wouldn’t have my baby girl in my arm right now… that’s why it is always worth trying and never giving up…
I have found after 6 months of trying very and very hard because it is at this point when the reality sets in that it may not be easy at all… I mean, the first 6 months are the only time when it seems to be easy… when you wait for it like you know that it’s happening. But after those 6 months you already start realizing that it is not as easy and that you have to try and wait. I do know that this is not easy AT ALL, I know it very well… that’s why I don’t blame you, and I CAN’T blame you at all for the struggling and everything else you’re going through right now! I have been 20 years old when I have started ttc through and so I would read up on it and just know that there was something that was up (I am having PCOS by the way) since I have been so young and it was meant to happen really fast. And then later I have had problems keeping them either…. Holy crap.. but I know that everything is going to be alright.
As I said, just keep on trying, just keep on going. It will happen… give it time. I do know a lot of people out there though who have got pregnant anywhere between months 6 and 12 with absolutely no assistance at all and they experienced absolutely no problems in pregnancy.. so I really really hope a lot that it would happen for you soon as well… as we all know there are people who get pregnant within the first 6 months of trying, but for me those are the luckiest people. and yeah, anywhere between 6 and 12 months is absolutely fine. don’t worry. We’re all here for you if you want to talk with someone more.
Hi Ruby Rytha, how are you doing? I just wanted to say that if I can remember this correctly… it was around the 6 months of ‘officially’ trying when I have hit a really really enormous emotional wall.. not sure if that was the month when I’ve hit that wall, what I do remember for sure is that I hit it and it was terrible… it most likely did not helped me at all that a colleague of mine has soon later announced that she is pregnant around the exact same time when I hit that wall, any how… I really felt that I am very and very close to the point of breakdown! I do remember that time very well and then there’s my husband that remembers it even better, I guess… oh, my poor husband… he really didn’t know what to do with me as I am normally the calm and level headed sort of woman and it is obvious that I couldn’t really tell him what to do in order to help me with at least anything either… I doubt that there was someone who could help me deal and get through all of this. but obviously my husband had to suffer the most out of this all.
But I must confess that all of this is only our faults… as rude as it might sound but what happened was my fault and what’s happening to you right now is your fault either. Please understand me right… what I try to say is that all through our teens we are pretty much prone to believe that pregnancy it is the worst possible outcome of having sex (and I’m pretty sure you used to believe the same) and so we’ve put so so much effort into trying to avoid it (and then again, I’m quite sure you put the same effort either) that when the time has come and we have taken the decision that it is the right time to have babies, we just expected that this is going to happen as soon as we try. We did have heard of people struggling to get pregnant, but obviously we couldn’t believe that this is going to happen with us and although we knew that this might not happen from our first trying, we were nearly sure that it would happen the first few months… what I am trying to say is that we are just not properly programed to deal with it when it doesn’t! but that’s not correct because that’s a normal phenomenon and NOT getting pregnant within the first half a year is completely common and normal, whereas we used to think that not getting pregnant within 6 months means that we’re infertile. I tell you this: if everything’s alright then getting pregnant at the 18th month of trying is normal…
Anyhow… unfortunately, we are still currently trying and sadly but we’re still failing miserably, however I just know for me I am coping so much more better knowing that we are getting investigations and questions answered and that’s even if there have already been a lot of bumps on the way for us. In addition to that, I have also started to have reflexology as well as acupuncture, hopefully they would help. But you know… although I do realize and I know that they may not help us to conceive… I still hope that they would help, just having some time set aside just for me it is already helpful and also it is giving me somewhere I can let off steam that’s since I am paying for the privilege of having somebody to listen to all my sh*t at the same time, LOL. I also think that this is all really helpful because by doing this it means that I am not feeling as if I’m wearing my husband down all the time so then again, this obviously can help. As I said, I know that this may not help us at all to conceive, but it can help with other things which might help us to conceive.
Well… in the end of the day I must say that I knew I couldn’t carry on the way I was… it simply was not sustainable… maybe this is going to help you… I wish you good luck in your trying and hopefully the ‘storks’ are going to come into visit soon.