hey, i know that reading the subject you thought that i might be crazy but i would love if you will take me seriously as i am really serious right now. im only 17 and i know that usually girls in my age have differents thoughts but im a little different. for the last half a year i can't think at anything else than having a baby. the baby isn't concieved yet but i already thought millions of names to give my baby. i know it's strange but i already gathered a lot of baby clothes, baby shoes and many other baby stuff. furthermore i've saved a lot of money, money for my baby. i have done everything i can so my baby to have everything he needs. no one needs to worry about "what i can give my baby", i already have everything needed. i know what im doing, i am not a little stupid girl!!! my boyfriend wants me to carry him his baby, he loves me and i really love him too. do you think i have chances being a good mother at this age? or i sound really crazy? thanks everyone for any sincere feedback!!!!
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im 17 and i want a baby really bad
- Thread starter delize
- Start date
Bedeencion1980
New member
Well hello there. I'm glad you decided to ask and to inform yourself before taking such an important step in your life. Also I'm truly happy that you were able to build a loving and fulfilling relationship at you age, I hope it will continue like that. I don't think you are crazy at all because it's normal thinking about it. Many girls at your age are thinking about babies and how they are going to name their children. I know that many girls are planning their future at an early age, especially their personal life. I personally know it, I was 17 too. I see that you are taking everything in serious and you are not joking about it. It's very good that you already bought baby clothes and other baby stuff as well as the savings you've got. However, I need to say that this isn't enough. I really don't want to upset you or to keep you away from your dreams but there are a lot of other things that a baby needs than some money savings and some baby stuff. I don't know if you understand this but there are a lot of other responsibilities that are very hard to accomplish at your age. First of all you have to realize that having a baby you are stuck at home with a crying baby and you cannot go outside partying like all other girls and boys at your age. Now is your time of education, of being completely free, without such responsibilities. Is the time you have to figure out who you are. Second, as I said a baby needs lots more than just some baby stuff and some savings. They need loving parents, mature parents who can stand by themselves without others help. You need to give a baby love, time, knowledge, a warm house and food. Everything can be achieved only when you have stability but I doubt you have it. I really don't want to keep you away from your dreams, I just want to make you understand that baby isn't just a cute little sleeping human. Some women at 25-30 find it hard to deal with a baby so trust me, better if you wait until your time comes. Until that live you young live, gain knowledge and experience and when the time comes your children will thank you for that rather now. I know what I'm talking about, I'm a mother myself. Hope you will take in consideration my advice and think twice about your decisions. I will be glad to respond further if you still have some questions. Good luck sweety.
I'm 21 years old now and I also want a baby BUT I strongly advice you to wait! I agree with Bedeencion, you're not crazy at all! I wanted having a baby too when I was your age (as I said I still want it) but I knew and I know that education is MUCH more important at your and even at my age! Really, you're thinking about that too much and you're taking too much resposibility doing that! I'm 100% sure that a parent with higher education can provide for his baby much more than one that doesn't have. That is why I'm trying hard in college getting ready to graduate in 1 year. Understand me correctly, people without college degree CAN provide really much for their children, I know that everything is possible, but the chances are higher when you DO have it. Think that there is not ONLY you once you are pregnant, you'll have to take care 24/24 all your life for another PERSON. Moreover, think what IF your relantionship with you boyfriend doesn't work out? I don't say that it's going to be so, but I already said EVERYTHING is possible so it's going to be the hell on the earth for you having a baby at your age and single. Finally think more about yourself: there's no turning back in life, you should spend your teen years with joy without so much responsibilities you're about to take. Well, everyone is doing what they want to do but I strongly recommend you to think twice about having a baby now and next few years further. I wish you good luck in any decision you are going to take!!!
PLEASE wait! I can tell you from my own experience that all this is not going to be how you're expecting! I'm 19 years old (to be more precisely I will be 19 in July) and I got pregnant went I was 17 and I can tell you that this is not all fun and games. However in the end is only your decision, but as foade said I recommend you too to wait and not to rush things! You will have time for that! Wait few years more and you'll get what you want! Having a baby is beautiful but it’s not what it cracks out to be in real life. My baby wasn't planned, however I love him so much I could die for him but I'm so stressed right know I barely can resist! Thanks God my parents accepted this situation and now they're helping me because without them I would be lost! I remember the time when I was worried only about me and my only responsibility was to go to school, I can't believe I was so free with so much time and so little stress and responsibilities. As you can understand I still live with my parents because I don't have enough money to live separately even though beside school I work. After school and work I have to come back home and to stay with my little 10 months old son. It's something I never imagine being so hard to deal with. Even though I'm with my boyfriend (my son's father) it's stressful! We have a lot of problems in our relationship and I wonder if I would be with him forever. Don't forget that relationships aren't guaranteed to last forever, your relationship with your boyfriend, unfortunately is not too. I can say you more, that even marriages aren't guaranteed to be forever even if you have a baby together! A child is not a baby doll or a cat with which you played for one hour and then forgot about it for a day. You have your whole life ahead! Live your teenage period without being so worried and stressed as you are about to be.
hey again, i expected that i'm going to get some answers like this. all of you said something as if i have not thought about all this out. really, i'm reading your posts and you you're all up to say like im some stupid little girl who definitely doesn't know what she's doing!!! if i thought about this then i have some reasons. anyway thank you, anyway i got some really good advices that you gave me it really made me think deeper about this. i still don't know what to do but i have to say that i will love my baby in every way and i'm going to make my best just for him or her, to be happy and to have everything necessary. i'm feeling like i am ready and please dont judge me!!! i know that babies are not fun all the time but i know how hard it is. i have a niece and a nephew: 1 year and 6 months and my nephew is 7 months old and i'm staying with them every single weekend. i know it is not easy trust me!!! im not saying all these things only by playing with a baby doll!!
glorygloria
New member
Sincerely I can understand you and what you’re talking about. I was and I am in the similar situation. What I am trying to say is that I had the same wish of having a baby at the age of 15 and well… by accident my wish came true. I’m 17 years old but at only 15 I got pregnant… (my boy is one year and few months). Trust me I understand and I feel every single word you wrote there. I also was very excited when it came to having a baby and at first it was very interesting and in general very excited, I don’t regret my motherhood, you experience some unique feelings. However it is very and veeeery hard to deal with it. I think it’s hard to deal with it in any age (I imagine so) but it’s much harder now. For example I can’t go outside with my friends very much, I can see that I’m growing apart from them and this is something obvious. I’m not going to school anymore because I don’t have time but all my friends are still in school, having fun and etc. Many things changed and it is going to be something else from what you have thought about it. Even though I’m still with my man and even though I love him and we’re together for 4 years it feels like something isn’t right. He is going very good about all this, he is responsible and a very good father, however we’re really feeling like we’re wasting our youth away. I mean that we could spend our free time now having fun and being irresponsible instead of being in this cycle of work looking after our son and having very little to no time for ourselves. Trust me no one judges you for wanting a baby, I think every girl want a baby and no one has the rights of doing so but even though you are going to have much joy having a baby you’re going to have even more different hard stuff. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, so why would I want to give you a bad advice? If you want to have this baby so bad then have it, I’m just saying that you have to think about it twice. I don’t need to mention that I’m having BIG problems with money so probably you’re going to struggle with this too (not only if your or his parents are millionaires and they are going to give you money). Future advice if you still want to have this baby: save AT LEAST a bit of money because I think it’s the worst feeling when you don’t have enough money for your baby to make him happy or at least to buy him necessary things. In depends mostly on you and on your decision what is going to be next – not on your parents and not even on your boyfriend, if you want the baby so hard you’re going to have it but everyone here, including me are trying to make you THINK about it.
Georgia St
New member
Well, look, I agree with you that having a child is very beautiful, in fact is the biggest happiness and seeing your child in your arms is the most beautiful thing ever BUT in teen pregnancy things are a little changed. A little more. I'm talking now only about facts and statistics so don't think that this is my opinion or something like that. Scientists said this. In your age most dads tend to leave because they are not as near ready to become a dad as they should be, moreover you are financially and emotionally strained. You can feel yourself ready, but there are a lot of other things that you haven't thought! I'm not sure if you're going to understand what I'm talking about BUT, I don't know you and I have absolutely no reason to wish you bad things and to give you bad suggestions but I was in your situation and I just want to support you. In fact you're going to do what you want and you won't listen to anyone if you want. But if you want to listen to someone then I really would want to give you some support, I know what are you going through and I'm telling you this from my own mistakes because unfortunately I have done them. Look, if you know for sure, I mean all 100% that you are going to be with your boyfriend and he will never leave you then wait, wait for at least one year or until you will graduate school. You will regret so much if you won't finish at least the school! You have to graduate and to have at least something in your hands that can guarantee you a decent job. You're going to need money all your life as for you as for your children and if you don't have anything then no one will hire you. Look, I'm not going to argue with you and to say that I'm right, I'm telling you that I have been thru a similar situation and what I would wish I've done. Think...
In my opinion it sounds so beautiful that you love little kids and that you would give up everything to become a mom. I don't see anything evil or that you could be referred as a bad person, however, unfortunately I have to agree with other and tell you that you should wait with your decisions... I understand that you may not like to hear it but it is true and there's nothing you can do about it, no one can. I also wanted a baby when I was in my teens and as you I was thinking about it seriously but I got friends older than me and they explained that I should not have a baby in my age and sincerely I am very glad now that I followed their advices. I also was in a wonderful relationship with a really nice guy and I thought that he will be the daddy to my children and my husband, however things do change out of nowhere and you don't know what life prepared for you. I don't want to say that you won't marry your boyfriend or that he won't be the father to your kids, I actually wish you this and I really hope that this is going to happen because this is very beautiful! But even so I need to tell you that you should reconsider your choice. You and your boyfriend are going to go through many many wonderful things together and it doesn't matter whether you truly love each other, you will miss these steps if you're going to get pregnant now! Believe me, you still need to find out each other! You need to create events together such as spending time together and fooling around doing whatever you want, traveling together, going to clubs, even spending time together in bathroom and many many other activities. Having a baby now you will miss so much in your life! You may think that these are only ""foolish"" things but trust me they are not, you need them, everyone needs such moments near they loved ones because it connects you as a couple so you can do the rest of your life plans including a baby and other serious steps TOGETHER! Take these wonderful teen years to get to know each other and be together by yourselves! You should and you have to do so much things before having a baby! I only wish you that you will love each other for the rest of your lives and I said that you have to do these things if you're going to be together, but imagine yourself if this won't happen, what then?
Now I'm together 8 years with my husband and we're married for 3 years and trust me so much things changed since then! Since we got married so many "little" things disappeared but sometimes I miss them so much! We love each other, everything is fine and I'm very happy near him! But I want to say that many things are going to change! I didn't know even a half of what I know about him now! I'm still nowadays discovering him. You may not believe me but this is the truth. There's no other thing I am surer that he is my soul mate, I am sure that he would do anything for me and for our family, I am up to do the same, however we still have fights and misunderstandings. Despite this I know that I will be with him and it doesn't matter what is going to happen I will love him. All this is due to the fact that we have been thru so much situations together!
Besides your relationship with him you have to think about many other things that were mentioned above by other posters! You should make sacrifices for kids just by being there and spending your time, but you also would need knowledge and a job for making money, you will need to have life experience! Everything is just to become a good parent and that one day your children will call you the best parent ever! Only loving your children is not enough! Moreover you have to talk to him about this very seriously, you should make such a serious decision together! However you should live your life a little bit! I'm not telling you that you should wait until you're 25 or 30 years old to have a baby, but wait at until you're going to be engaged and to be able to take care of your own not depending on your parents with anything. Wait until you're going to be ready emotionally and financially! Both of you should taste a little bit what is life then to give life.