I'm only 16 and I'm pregnant - help me

[iampregnant]

Hi, so I'm only 16 years old and I found out 3 days ago that I'm pregnant when I was consulting my doctor. I've had pregnancy symptoms (I didn't know) and I've come to him for a check out. I was totally shocked when he said that there's a baby and I'm already 6 weeks pregnant today....

 

Now and then I'm scared, confused and still shocked. I didn't tell my parents yet about this but I'm very scared about their reaction (as every other pregnant girl in my age I think) when I'm going to tell them about this. I know that my dad isn't going to be happy at all...

 

Honestly, in a way I'm happy that it turnout to be this way, but I do understand the fact that I'm a child myself and having a baby is a big responsibility. My boyfriend is also happy and we're still together but I'm wondering are we going to be so forever and if we're going to be a happy family further. However I don't have many options now due to what I've already done and I have to take this chance near my boyfriend.

 

I cannot say that for sure, but even though I'm a teenager, a lot of people say that I act very mature for my age, but now I'm really concerned whether I am able to take care of a child and to take all these responsibilities??? I'm not even able to take all decisions I need to take. Only in two years at least something is going to change when I'm going to be 18.

 

I've had ideas of getting an abortion but I know for sure that I'm going to regret for the rest of my life and I know that it can lead further problem. That is why I have to think how to deal now with the actions that I've already made. I know that taking care of a baby isn't going to be so easy at all, but I believe that I can do it!

 

I want to know my chances of being a good mother at this age and I want to ask what should I do next and how should I say my parents about this. If someone was pregnant at my age please let me know your experience and how you've dealt with it.

 

[Bedeencion1980]

Well, in the end is only your decision whether to keep this baby or not. Anyway it doesn't matter how old are you, 16 or 30 years old it's a hard work raising a baby and it depends very much on who is near you in these moments, but raising a baby as a teenager is significantly harder. It's something you have to think about, but you said that now you have to deal with everything due to actions that you've already made, so I totally agree with that. I can tell you that I personally was pregnant at a very young age and it seems that it worked out just fine in the end. I know that a lot of things are going through your head right now. I know that it's scary, but it's very good that you understand the consequences and you know that being a mother isn't that easy. However, if I made it then it's possible and you should too. If you have someone to support you and the father of your baby is near you then I think that you should do just fine. You have to remember that it's not all fun and games, this is something very and very serious so if you decided to have sex at this age then you should be ready for what's coming next. Understand me right, I don't judge you at all, as I said I was in your situation but now you should seriously think about what you're doing with your school, are you going to finish it or to take a part-time job? Who will help you (because now you need help as you never did)? Now you have to forget about all kind of parties, night fun and so on. You have to give up on many things and this is one of the hardest parts being a teenager. You have to take a lot of decisions that you didn't even think about it before. As about your parents I think you should be very straight with them, you have to cut off all the fear you have in you and say them what is going on. Do not try to hide this from them, sooner or later but they will understand what's going on (chances of hiding a pregnancy from your parents are a big fat ZERO) and this is going to end even worse. Of course they will be angry and upset, they even may yell at you, but anyway they will come around, you're their daughter and they will always love you! You need their support and I'm almost sure that they will give it to you. I really hope that you'll make the best out of any decision you're going to take further! Good luck sweet heart and best wishes...

 

[Fiorella]

Hi, I agree with what you said up there, of course 16 years is young to be having a baby. It depends on a lot of things, it's not just you age but how wise and how mature you are, how old is the father of your baby and if he stays with you after this, how he is thinking about this. It is something that you have to this about really seriously and to give this baby for adoption if you feel that you are not ready for keeping him. I recommend you not to allow someone else to do what you want to do because it's only your decision. You have to this about pregnancy itself because there are such cases when girls are too young for a baby and their bodies aren't ready yet, I'm not trying to scare you at all, I'm just saying that you have to be careful not to have some troubles with pregnancy. If you decide to keep the baby then you have to do it under a doctor's care and to start a pre natal preparation. I want to warn you not to be shocked or scared when you will talk to your parents about this, you have to expect that they will get upset at you. Both of you have to think about talking to his parents as well. I wish you will be just fine and I hope that everything is going to end perfect for you. At least, we are here to support and to help you if you need it for some advices. Maybe we could help you somehow? My best wishes!

 

[Wiferston]

So I'm only 17 years old in my 5th month of having a baby and my boyfriend has been okay so far with helping me, however I haven't had a situation where I just really needed him. In my opinion you should sit down with your family and try to talk to your parents. I know how hard can be having a baby and being alone. I know how scared you're and how confused, how much question you have etc. but this isn't the end of the world. You still can do it. It depends mostly on what do you want and you feel. I mean, if you want this baby then you should keep it, if no then you should give him for adoption. If your boyfriend is ready to help then I'm almost sure that everything is going to be just fine. For example, my boyfriend has just turned 18 recently but he still is with me. He has told his mother about this and honestly she is happy. Of course this is mine and his first baby and I do get their (his and his mother's) support, I think that's because my boyfriend grew without a father. His father abandoned their family and his mother had to take care of him alone. I think that they understand how hard that is and that is why I'm getting their support. However, it's scary for anyone and it changes a lot of things so you should be strong and do as your heart says. We're here if you need something else!

 

[christieG]

sooo... i know what are going through right know... i'm saying this because i was pregnant too at 16 yrs old and i know it’s hard. you're having a lot of question in your head and you don't know what to do... i understand perfectly.

 

well, i need to tell you that you should stop worry because stress it's very bad for your children and you have to think about it calmly. you have to remain calm every time and to choose from those options that you have. so, i see only three options: abortion, keep the baby and raise him, keep the baby and give him or her for adoption.

 

for me personally i would exclude abortion at all because i'm against all abortions. i see that for you abortion doesn't seem an option too and in my opinion you're very right about this. for instance i would regret all my life if i'd choose this option. i guess this is well enough said.

 

the next option is to keep the baby and raise him. well, this is the most difficult option but it seems to be the best BUT only in some cases. you're only 16 and you're not enough mature, in my opinion, for raising a baby, at least alone. you need to have a lot of support from someone else in order to deal with this. raising a baby is not all fun and games and i assume that you understand this. besides a lot of financial help you need someone to teach you how to deal with this. i mean babies need attention, love and a mature parent itself. besides giving him food and clothes (and love) you need to be an example for him. if you have someone near you you may choose this option. your parents and the father to your child are playing the most important role in supporting you, remember that. in my situation, as you i thought that i'm well enough mature to keep the baby and to raise him but well... when it came near to give birth to him i understood that i was wrong and i thought that i won't face the responsibilities as a mother and well i choose the third option

 

which is keeping the baby and give him for adoption. for me it was a very hard decision, hardest in my life i guess, but there was nothing left for me. you might think about it. trust me i know how hard is this but i choose to give him a better life near someone else than living in a hell with me. now my boy is 2 years old and he is living with other people. the best thing from all this is that i can see him from time to time and this makes it all a little bit easier for me.

 

i don't know what else should i tell you... it depends mostly on you. choose the right thing as you feel it is best for you and for your child. we can talk about this in private if you wish, just let me know. good luck and take care of you.

 

[iampregnant]

I came back to this site to say sincere thank you everyone who have tried to support me! It's really much much more comforting reading your posts and prayers for me. Life isn't as good as it seems but I still hope that everything is going to be alright!

 

Unfortunately it wasn't as I thought, my boyfriend left and now I'm single and I guess I'm going to be a single teen mother. Anyway your posts made me feel much better because lately I start feeling what is life about and I see that it truly gives you lemons but I don't really know how to make it a lemonade...

 

Now I'm just happy that within half a year I will have my baby in my arms and I know for sure that I will love him or her and I will do anything whatever it is going to cost to make him or her happy and to give everything s/he needs. I know that people have made through it so I guess I will make it too.

 

My parents are upset but they will help me, I know that they love me and they will love my baby too. Now I just thank God for whoever is supporting me and you're one of them! God bless you everyone for your good and kind words! I will gladly read other stories as well!