Losing my father because of Lung cancer!

angieSB

New member

I understand very well those people that have ever lost a loved person. I lost my father 6 months ago because of lung cancer and I still can’t believe that he is not with me anymore. He was in stage for non small cell. At the beginning we did all the types of things that usually are made in order to prolong at least a little bit his life and we truly believed that soon he will be okay, we were always hoping it. Even if thousand people told me that I have to understand that he will pass soon for me this wasn’t possible, even now after I know that he’s not here anymore it is still hard to pass over it. He have got a x ray of his chest and after this day his life changed completely and mine too. My father was the only person in this world that loved me and understood me like nobody else, besides being my father he was my best friend. I never knew my mom she died when I was a little baby in an car accident and that’s why losing my dad was the biggest tragedy in my life as I haven’t love anybody so much how I loved him.

 

My father has smoking for more than 30 years and before this disease he had lost his father (my grandpa) because of lung cancer and his brother (my uncle) too due to the same disease. I fought for his health more than he was.. And I always was mad because he never wanted to understand that the same thing could happen to him as it happened to his brother and his father. During 20 years I tried to do all what was possible in order to help him to quit but I couldn’t. Every time he started to smoke again and again and I didn’t knew what to do. When I found out that he is ill I wasn’t surprised but I was still fighting with him about this… now when I remember that day I understand why I was relatively calm when I found out about the cancer, I think that I was excepting that sooner or later this will happen. He died at 55 and I consider that this is a very young age for dying and having to deal with big plans that he has had in future. I am now alone and suddenly after his death I started to feel hopeless. Even if I was mad because he didn’t wanted to hear and to do the things the right way he was a great man. I was by his side since his last day and I’m very happy that God gave me this opportunity to pass some time by his side, to remember the past, my childhood and to hear again the story about my mom and how she loved me. I never felt so lonely like now, in this moment, have friends and some relatives but I clearly understand that nobody will be like my father. I carry a deep sadness now that’s extremely hard to deal with, because I didn’t expected to see his death so soon, this was the first time as I never seen somebody dying, I don’t remember the death of my mom and even of my uncle and grandfather I was too little to remember, but now I lost him and I don’t know how to react, what to do and how to start to live or to pass over it. I want to do great and big things because I want to do this for him but I don’t know how and where should I start

 

I wanted to write here and to say sorry to all those who have experienced the same thing and who have lost a loved person, I now realize what is like to lose somebody. Take care about yourself and your family. We never appreciate people till we lose them, but after this is too late to change something. I really hope that someday, somebody will find a drug that will be able to kill this horrible disease. I truly believe that one day I’ll see my father again, smiling and telling the story about my mom but, unfortunately, we all know when this would happen. If somebody who you truly love smokes, please, make him stop, it is definitely not worth seeing him dying. I just wanted to recommend everybody to stop smoking and to tell you all to make somehow your loved ones to stop it too. Also I wanted to share my support to those who already lost them…

 

OuTNumbereD

New member

I’m so sorry about your loss, and trust me I understand you very well. I lost my father some years ago also because of lung cancer and also because he was smoking and I remember what I felt when he passed away so I do understand very well what are you telling up there. I really believe that turning off the respirator was a very difficult thing but if he wanted this I think that this was the most adequate decision. I know that this is very difficult to you and that you now feel broken and alone but I would like to tell you that this is for the best. I know that experiencing this type of cancer is very hard and it’s better that his passed away on his last stage cancer, because this is a burden and this very difficult to him and for was the same for you. Now, he is free from pain and I’m sure that he is always of your side helping you and trying to support all your decisions.

 

You know it’s difficult to say but I have to… I consider that only thing you can do is to have positive thoughts. Now, that I know what it means to lose my dad I started to appreciate my life and the life of my kids my husband my mom and other people that I love. I think that you should do the same. Now, maybe you can’t understand this and you feel alone, but someday you’ll find a person that will be the best person in your life and you’ll understand me.

 
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