my boyfriend dumped me when he found out that I’m pregnant

[velma198]

I’m ashamed to talk about my situation, but I think that it came the time to get some help.

 

Okay, I’m at my 4th month of pregnancy, and I feel so alone… and I can’t do anything about that.  My boyfriend dumped me the first day that he found out that I’m pregnant and talking seriously I didn’t expected that he will do this. It hurts really bad because I loved him and I still love him, I know that I’m stupid that I still love him and hope that he will be back but I can’t lie, this is the truth. I was expecting that he might get a little bit upset but not to dump me so quick. I always thought that he will be a great dad and even if we never talked about having babies because we aren’t married and we are too young to have babies, I sincerely thought that he will like to have a baby, he was always playing with my sister’s baby and he was so happy, smiling and getting stupid along with the babies. When I found out that I’m pregnant I was shocked too, but soon after this I started to dream about having a perfect life, perfect family, a house and our baby, I don’t know why but I was really sure that he will be happy to find out that he will become a dad soon. I wasn’t worried to tell him, and when I told him, I was smiling and I was expecting that he will hug me and will tell me that he is happy and that it will be amazing.. I feel so stupid because I think that the worst thing is to imagine something that will never happen. He was very surprised and the first thing that he asked me if I am going to keep that baby or no, after this he started to scream and to tell me that this is my fault and that I can’t keep the baby, that this will destroy our life and our future and that this is the end of our relationship if I won’t do abortion. Even hearing all of these things that he told me I was sure that he will calm down and soon he will decide to be with me and he will be happy for the baby.. not at all, the second day he didn’t talked with me, at the morning he disappeared but all his stuff was in the house so I was sure that he was at work, he came back at the evening and I was waiting him with a ready dinner and ready to talk, he just entered and started to bring all his cloths, stuff and etc. he didn’t wanted to talk with me and I was so stunned about this.. I was just watching him, and I understood that in front of me is another person, there’s a person that don’t know, a person that doesn’t care about me and about my future, I was sure that he loves me, and that he was ready to be with me all my entire life,. I have seen him from another angle, angry and full of negativism. This was the first time when I saw that he was hating me. I wasn’t able to tell a word. He just picked up all his stuff and disappeared in a few minutes and never returned.

 

Even after this I still waited him, every day, and I still continued to think that soon he will miss us and he will come back. After this I started to get used being alone, and I started to think about how I’ll grow up my baby alone. Everything was okay, until some days ago when I started to have a panic attack during the night. I woke up and I started to feel so alone, I started to understand that I’ll always be alone and nobody will like to be with me, I started to think about killing myself but every time I started to think about these awful things I remembered that I have a baby and that he is the last things that I have in this world. I didn’t expected to feel so bad and depressed and I don’t know what happened, what changed my mind, I got used with my single life and I really wouldn’t like to continue it like this, but these situations in which I start to think about bad things, about death and about negative situations makes me feel sick, and I understand very well that my baby feels this and that this is bad for him. Please help me I don’t know what to do, I would like to take another white paper and to start my life together with my baby from the beginning, but I don’t know how, I feel so bad and alone, is there somebody that can help me a little bit, please????

 

[tameeka]

My dear girl, I can’t even imagine what you feel and I think that it was really hard for you to put together all your thoughts and to try to explain what’s going on inside you. The feelings that you started to have are something normal, it’s okay to wake up, to remember everything and to start feeling bad, or crying. You’ve been very strong for 4 months and now you woke up full of pain because you can’t be strong forever. I really suggest you to start your social life; you need friends, relatives, parents in your life, you need support and love and I really think that you deserve it. you’ve got too used with him, but as much as I see, it is the time to forget about him and to start a new life, with friends and supportive people around you.

 

I’m very proud that women like you are able to be strong and to go on in such a moment. He is a**hole and I know that there are a lot of men in this world that did the same thing, but I would like to underline the positive parts of this situation. I think that this happened to you and I think that it’s good that this happened to you. Just imagine how it will be to live with him all your entire life, to know that he hates you and that he hates your baby. I truly believe that you’ll find your real love, because I think that this happened to you in order to make you understand what kind of man lived by your side and that you have to change your life. Don’t worry about anything; the only thing that you have to worry about now is your baby and nothing else.  The future is coming and I’m sure that it’s full of beautiful surprises.

 

I suggest you to talk with a psychologist  and to tell him all your thoughts, sometimes they can help you to get better and to be more positive. You deserve the best in this world, and you have to imagine that the best will come for you and for your baby, also, try not to stress too much as it really affects the baby. Good luck to both of you!

 

[Beither1980]

I’m not sure that he loved you for real, just think about this for a second. Of course it’s not your fault and I know that you feel bad now but this is the truth. I think that he never really loved you, I don’t know what is the reason that he was with you and that he considered that he is your boyfriend but I think that when a person do something like this it means that he never wanted to be with you and to create a family, I know so many examples of the same thing, situations were men aren’t ready to become a parent and to have a baby but they decided to go on and to be a great dad.

 

I think that you have to go on. It’s hard I understand that you can’t forget everything in one day and I know that you require more time to go on, and to change your life but you have to do it. remember that you’re not alone, when you’ll see your baby for the first time you’ll understand that this is everything that you needed, and that your baby is the best thing in your life. You have to live, and stop thinking about bad things, death and all this stuff, you can’t die, this is ironic but – you have no time to die, you’ll become a mom. This is the best thing in the world, and nothing else matters, even the fact that you have no more boyfriend. You have to talk with your parents, or relatives, with your friends and I agree that you need to see a psychologist; I know for sure that there are a lot of people that are ready to support you and to be by your side. Don’t think about a father for your baby, the most important thing in this moment is the baby. And the father? You’ll find him anyway; you’ll find a good man that will be by your side anyway, that will love you and that will be able to love your baby, this is very important. Go ahead girl, be strong, he doesn’t deserve you. Remember that one day he will decide to come back and to be with you and your baby but I’m quite sure that you’ll be so happy and loved that you’ll be indifferent to this fact. I wish you the best!

 

[velma198]

thank you all girls, I feel so happy that you understand me and this is so important for me. You’re right this is very hard, and I can’t forget him, but the most important thing is that I want to go on and to forget him, and I think that this is the most important thing.

 

I love my baby and I’m waiting for him. Today I called my girls and I think that soon I’ll see them. I think it’s a good decision; they always were with me and supported me and I think that this will be a great thing to start a new life. Thank you for everything and I wish you all the best.