Hey good people, can I have your attention please? My problem is that when I do have sex I really don’t feel anything, any pleasure. Well, I can feel something of course because it’s not numb, I can feel if I am slipping a finger inside of my vagina and I will press it, I can feel the pressure and if I would press down really hard I would feel the pain as any other female but only the pressure. I mean I just can’t have some pleasure and it doesn’t matter what I’m doing about this. I’m 22 years old and I don’t have any known health damage. I mean that I was checked for sexually transmitted disease, yeasts or even bladder infections, I never had them. I never had major illnesses or disorder and of course never had any problem with my sexual organs. Doctors can’t understand what my problem is because after their tests I am told that I’m 100% healthy woman. However I have no pleasure and I start thinking that I am defective. I understand that for someone this may sound as “so what?” or “this isn’t that bad” but trust me this is a problem affecting my life because whenever I do have sex I feel like I’m kind of used. Like I am a doll or something that it is fffffed and that’s all. I know that it shouldn’t be this way, I mean I should enjoy it and want it as any other woman. Whenever my friends are talking and saying how AMAZING sex they had I’m totally upset. I lost any interest in having sex and this is the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend or sex for about a year now. I get really bored when it comes to sex, my ex bfs have noticed this… oh yes.. and it seems that I don’t have any pleasure not only by penetration but also when “playing with myself”. I have tried soooo many things and nothing works out. Now, keep in mind that I can orgasm, just, not through any penetration whatsoever. Is there any other woman who suffers from the same thing?
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No pleasure while having sex
- Thread starter rachie
- Start date
Unfortunately I need to say that I am suffering from the same thing and I have to say that it is probably on our head... I'm not sure about this but I have some reasons to think so... I can't feel any vaginal pleasure therefore I have absolutely no overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity, unfrotunately. I haven't told about this my boyfriend with whom I am dating for almost two years because I am really concerned that I'm going to disappoint him and he is going to lose his self confidence. We have passed to something like this before: when we have first dated, he had a really hard time to have an erection and I think that's due a self confidence issue because after some time with me, I think few months, when he got used he had no problem with that. If I'm going to tell him now that I have been faking the orgasms with him for these two years, I really think we're going to have a big problem in our relationship and he is going to have a self confidence issue as it has never been before. I really don't want to collapse our relationship and his self confidence... I think this is going to be the end of our relationship, unfortunately. I have never been able to feel any vaginal pleasure even though I can feel him moving inside of me, but that is all I can feel... I have had a bad acne and I got over it about 3 years ago and since then I barely can feel something about my body overall. To be honest I hate my body and how I look, I really lack from self confidence myself. These things have their root when I was younger, when I was about 6 or 7 years old when I was mentally, emotionally and almost physically abused. I almost got raped twice around that time and it doesn't matter how hard is for me now but I have to admit that I still suffer due to those moments and I still have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) even though everything that I have suffered passed long time ago... It's hard for me to deal with this... If someone can help please don't hesitate!
I have this issue myself, I have no clitoral stimulation and no penetration feeling, I can only feel my partner enter inside of me but nothing else too, it's like my vagina is numb. I went to multiple doctors and they all said that it's in my head and I do believe in what they have told me. I belive in what you have wrote there. I don't have a PTSD but I always had a self confidence issue. I'm 22 years old but when I was a teenager I got a really and really bad acne that now it's getting much better but I still have it until nowadays. I really think that this is causing me to feel so and making me unable to enjoy sex! To be honest I'm shy because of that, I haven't told my bf about this and this may cause my numbness feeling. I can't even feel any pleasure when I touch my vagina. I didn't try many times playing with myself but I was curious if I'm going to feel something but still zero feelings. For me it is a real problem that could lead to relationship issues because my bf is already suspicious when we have sex. Of course he could understand that I have no joy due to sex because I never was the initiator. It's sad because I'm healthy but I still have this issue, I just need to do something with my self esteem and start to love myself. If someday you'll have some success in feeling something then please write your secret!
Sienna I totally agree with you! I know that sometimes it can be more mental than a physical problem and this is why you are banned from enjoying sex! By saying this I mean that maybe you're feeling too much pressure to feel something, like when you're watched and you don't feel normal or maybe you're not fully comfortable around that person, maybe the problem isn't in the way how he or you act, it's just the thing that you are not fully comfortable. I know from my own experience that you can only feel good having sex if you're completely relaxed. For example scientists said that during the winter women are more likely to reach an orgasm when they are having their socks on, that is because their feet are in warm, so they are feeling comfortable. It may seem stupid to you but that's what the scientists said and I agree with them because when I'm cold at my feet I can never reach an orgasm and it doesn't matter how hard I'm trying, I'm just not feeling comfortable. However, if you are sure that this is not your problem and you do feel comfortable enough, relaxed and emotionally connected to your partner then it could be another problem like something physical. Everyone is different so it depends on person to person, everyone feels different things as during sex as during other activities. Personally, for me it took some time before I started to fully enjoy sex. I cannot say that I had your problem but I had something similar, there was a time when I could not really enjoy sex. I have started to be sexually active since I was 19 years old and until I have reached about 22 or even 23 I didn't feel the way I am feeling now. It takes a while to be comfortable, especially when you change your partner or the place when you're doing it. For a woman to feel pleasure everything is important, men usually don't have a single problem with it.