Obsessed parents with your health

[DonnaAKyle]

MY parents are really nosey and I can’t handle it anymore. I’m an adult person and I would like to take care of my heath by myself, the fact is that I can’t do it because my parents are always there to tell me what to do. I can’t stand my dad, because in comparison with my mother he is the one who make it worse. He worked all his life in the medical fields and it’s hard to tell him lies about a drug or about something that I take because he knows everything. He is always by my side when I have to go to my doctor when I have to pass some tests to see how my health is going, and when I talk with my doctor he is always there to agree or not with the prescription that my doctor would like to give me. I always feel like I’m a 2 years old kind that can’t do it by myself. I understand that he worked in the medical field and he knows better than me but it’s really annoying. As he come with me to the pain clinic I feel like he is my doctor not anyone else. He already knows all the consultants and he can have the access to my files.  Just think about this.. I can’t even take the painkiller that I like because he will be there to prescribe me another one. I tried to talk with him many times, and he never wants to do it, he is always ignoring me and trying to avoid me when he sees that I’m really nervous about his decisions.

 

Every time he come to visit me I hide all my IOP pills and trying to feel my best just to avoid talking about pills I should take and that it’s my fault because I don’t what to listen what he wants for me.

 

In fact I arrived to have IOP pills because of him, because some pills that really help me he doesn’t agree.  The last drop of patience was last week that event made me come here and write about this to you. I was in the bathroom doing my things and when I finished I heard my father behind the bathroom door asking me to not to flush. When he came to bathroom he started to look at my urine and told me to visit my doctor for some tests. I gone mad when I have heard about this, how can he come to my bathroom and to exanimate it.  To make you understand today I feel okay, I don’t have any issued and I feel really healthy. There was no reason for my father to come to my bathroom and to do what he has done. Now I’m here asking you for help. I have tried so many things and I have tried so many times to talk with him about this but all the time he is absent. My mother is quite the same, except the fact that she is not so experienced in medicine and she have never worked so tide as my father, that’s why she never knows what to recommend me to take. But she is always calling me asking me about how many times I eat, what I eat how many time I go to bathroom. If I couldn’t fall asleep during one night I will never tell them about this, because they will turn it as a serious problem. I have done it before and I have learned my lesson. My mother is always supporting my father in everything that he is doing for to me.  Not so long ago I started to hide my IOP pills from my mother too. She doesn’t know about them as my father does, but I find out that when she came to visit me she always take picture of my pills when I don’t see it for my father… and you can understand very well what it is going to be if my father sees it.

 

I don’t know what to do, I know I love my parents but now every time they want to visit me I feel really bad and I don’t what to see them.. This is really awful and I have never thought that one day something like this will happen to me. I know that all the parents especially fathers are always a little bit more nosey than mother to their daughters but not like mine.  He beat all the possible records.

 

[RoseDee]

My mother is annoying too, but a little bit in a different way. She always blames me because I take some drugs that prescribe me my doctor, and she is always there to tell me that they are the reason I feel bad. LOL.  She is always there to make me understand that actually drugs provoke me endometriosis and that I have to stop taking it. LOL. I know that she doesn’t know what she is talking about, that’s why many times I just agree with her and going to do the same thing that I have done before this conversation, because I know that I’m right. Your father is a little bit a more complicated person. From what I could understand he is always coming with you to visit your doctor, but I suggest you to stop telling him when you are going. Even if after some time he will find out that you went there without him you can tell him the truth that you don’t what him to come with you. Do this all the time and again and again, even if he will be against even if it will quarrel you have to go through it. Just come on you can’t live like this all your entire life, remember you are the only one who can change it, no one else can do it for you.

 

[timka505]

OMG I’m so sorry for you. I have never had something like this even if my father works as a doctor. My father always told me that if I will need his help I can always ask him, but since the beginning he recommended me to search for a doctor that I could trust. My father was always rational, and he always told me that he couldn’t be my doctor, because it will be really hard for him to know about all my issues. He understands that some of them are confidential and that I need a person who wouldn’t be interested in my confidentiality.  I think that my father have learned this lesson some years ago when he was my brother’s doctor and because of my brother’s situation they arrived to a really bad fight. Since that day my father doesn’t what to be our official doctor but we know that we can count on him.

 

[katehappiness]

I think that your father is really worried about you and your health. Our parents are always worried about us and I think that they want us to feel okay and to feel happy. I would like to have parents like you, I don’t know who are my parents and I think I will never know. You have to understand that you are really a happy person with a lot of love, care and attention and you should understand that you are a really lucky person.

 

[sssss]

I have never had problems with my dad. My dad was my best friend, and If you are tell us that you really can live and decided for yourself  I can tell you that I always could do everything I wanted and I always could ask my father about this. I grew up knowing that I can trust my dad and that he will always suggest me what to do. During my teenage time I tried everything, and all the time I asked my father about all my decisions, I told my father about the day when I tried ecstasy and he told me and explained that what are all the possible risks that I take with this pill, he told me that I have to understand that this is not a game and that once if I tried it, nothing will happen but he explained that if I’ll continue to do this I’ll regret. I always listened to my father. He was a doctor all his entire life and he knew better than me what should I expect from my decisions. When I turned 14 and he started to see that I’m already looking after boys that I’m becoming rebel and all the stuff that teenage start to do at this age, he decided to talk with me and I remember all the things that he told me that day. He told me that I have to trust him in very thing that I want to try or to experience, he told me that he will never dictate me what to do but he wanted to make me understand that if I’ll ask his advices before doing something he will always know how to react and he will always know what to do in case if something will happen. He told me that he will never decide for me and he will never impose me to do something that I don’t what to do.

 

In fact when I turned 18 and me and my ex-boyfriend Dave decided to do it, he was by my side, I talked with him about this and he explained me what to do, what to expect, not to be afraid and he even recommended me what kind of preservatives to buy. 3 years ago I decided to do my boob job, and he again supported me as he repeated again and again that for him I’m perfect but if I want to do it he will support me. He began to inquire about plastic surgeon and asked all his friends-doctors if they could recommend good ones. I can totally say that I was really happy during my teenage age. I have heard from some people that this is really too much and that some things that my father done aren’t appropriate for a 14 years old girl. As I was too young to understand that some things that I decided to do were totally wrong. I can tell you that beside this here I’m. I’m not addicted to drugs, I have my own family, I have 2 kids, I have no healthy issues, and my father is still with me helping me and supporting me. My father is a great father he always knew what to do, to make me understand what was wrong and what was good without imposing some strict rules.

 

I’m really sorry about your situation and I don’t know what to say. I think that our parents are different and we should love them the way they are. There are always situations worse than yours, as for example imagine if your parents will never care about yourself, will never be by your side and imagine that you’ll never be able to ask your parent something. Trust me I have friends that live like this, and their situation are 100 times worse than yours.  I don’t tell you to forget and to live like this all your life. I still think that there is always a solution, and if your father doesn’t what to hear you means that you didn’t talked the right way with him about this. Anyway I think that I will ask my father about your problem, I really like to hear what he will tell about this story, maybe he will be able to help you. Hear you soon

 

[DonnaAKyle]

It will be really nice!! As you told about your father, you have a really great relationship; I would like to have such a relationship with my father. If he will be able to advice me something it will be really amazing. Thank you very much!