pregnancy during depression

[Hanran]

hello dear girls. I’m here because I need help. I don’t know what to do anymore, nobody can help with my depression and I’m trying to fight against it every single day, I talked with my doctor with mother with my husband, friends and so on but it seemingly doesn’t help, at all. It’s actually really strange because it’s hard to explain my feelings about it. I’m 29 weeks pregnant right now and my depression started one month ago. It’s accompanied by numerous strange thoughts usually bad thoughts and I’m really  worried. The first thing that I started to think about was about my weight. I’m sure at 100% that after I am going to give birth I’ll become very fat, all the women in my family have had problems with their weight and I feel so silly thinking that I will be the first one who won’t, but this is a fact, sometimes when I remember this I start to think that it will be better not to have a baby at all. I know that this is really bad to think about this and please don’t judge me I always have had big problems with my weight and all the kids always joked about it when I was little. Now that I could very hardly done it and now that I look the way I want to I want to be like this and to look like this forever. I know that something will change but I don’t want to change very much or to become as fat as I was 10 years ago or as some women in my family.

 

my mom told me that actually if I would be very patient with food and if I would have an active way of living I would never turn back again looking and feeling like I was some time ago. the second thing that I always think about is that I am soon going to start a new era in my life that will change my routine. I always liked to have a lot of free time for my hobbies and things that I really like to do and now I do realize that this time won’t be there anymore.

 

I have heard so many times that when I am going to have a baby the only thing that I would like to do it will be to sleep, to eat and to take a shower because I would really miss this things, not talking about going out and so on. I have been said that I won’t have time AT ALL for myself, for my husband and so on. I don’t want this, I really do not want this to be like that… I don’t want to lose time or to forget about my hobbies. Please tell me that there is a chance to continue my current life, maybe not at the same level as it was before my baby but at least that I would be able to continue and to feel happy, free, feeling like I live my life not somebody else’s.

 

Please don’t judge me, I know that some of my thoughts are extremely egocentric but actually this is a part of me and I think that this is a part of every woman out there realizing that her life is never going to be like it used to be in the past and if I’m here this is because I would like to change my thoughts and to think positively. To get some help, maybe to realize some things. Please help me. and also please understand me. I really love children and I really want children. I also really love my baby, of course, everything I am trying to say is that I start being depressed when I think that I won’t have time at all, I will be fat again and there is going nearly nothing but my baby that would bring me joy… as you can see… I really need your help.

 

[dessiepower]

Oh, I remember my pregnant days, when I was so low of humor and the depression made me think so bad about everything in my life. You are not egocentric it’s just the thing that the hormones are influencing your feelings and sentiments, trust me this is a normal behavior, your thoughts are normal for a newbie mommy. Please don’t think negatively about your baby, I do know that now you don’t have him in your arms so you can’t understand what kind of happiness is it. Trust me that after your pregnancy, when you are going to start to spend more time with your baby you are going to feel that you wouldn’t want to spend any extra time without your baby anymore, and when you are going to go to gym or to go to any other place without him/her you are going to miss him or her very much, so much you would like to come back home as soon as possible. If you feel terrible now, try to do more of things that you love, every day and this way it will be easily to forget about your depression. Pick up your phone, call your girlfriends and go for a walk or for a shopping it always helped me to go through depression with a smile on my face. Don’t be upset and don’t think that it’s your fault, remember that this is all because of the hormones and that what you experience now it is normal. The most important and what really counts it is that you love your baby, it is that you wait for him/her. regarding your weight – eating right during/after pregnancy would keep it away. Going to gym the first few months being pregnant and a few months after giving birth – would keep it away even further. being pregnant doesn’t mean to be fat. Just try to have a healthy lifestyle and you’ll be all fine. regarding your hobbies and free time – it is absurd that you won’t have any free time for nothing. You will. You will have less free time – no doubt, but you will have some. Life is a very interesting thing. you are going to start valuing every minute and you will start getting some value out of every minute. Hope this is gonna help a bit.

 

[Hanran]

Thank you, but I have tried to go out with my girlfriends and trust me that everyday I’m trying to do things that I love, but I can’t concentrate because I feel bad, I start getting thoughts like I’m gonna be fat and so on... I know that my baby will be everything for me, and I know that I will love my baby more than everything else in this world, but these thoughts that my life will soon change radically is killing me.

 

[OrangeKim602]

OH girl, I remember my first pregnancy I felt bad all over my 9 months of pregnancy and I  really would like to tell you that I was able to pass over it but unfortunately I cannot. Everything changed after the birth, but in my case in a positive way. Trust me that even if it seems to be so hard and even it seems to be that after the birth all your time will be exclusively for your baby, it’s not like this. Trust me that you’ll be able to find time for all the things that you love and that you want to do. I always thought and I still think that depression is all in our head all created because of our fault and if our body was able to create this, it means that our body will be able to pass through it too, you just need to want it and to believe it and maybe a bit to try it. Hope that soon you’ll come here and will tell us that everything is okay, that you have your baby and that you’re happy and that you have enough time for both, hobbies and baby. I wish you all the best for both of you and I send you millions of hugs and good wishes.

 

[Hanran]

Thanks girls, I really hope that soon everything will change and I really hope so damn much that everything you said would be right, it is just these thoughts that keeps messing with my head. I want my baby very much and I know that this is the most important thing in the world. My baby is the most important in this world for me and I’m going to try hard to make my baby happy and this even if it means that I have to sacrifice with my happiness.