Sole Custody Help

[Whileme]

hey. I just have had a newborn the last week and the mother to my baby is having some intentions to move out of the states far away somewhere in Europe. I honestly did not wanted to move and that’s because I have reasons: I am having one older daughter as well as some other obligations here in the states, however  it seems to me that she cannot understand this thing and has a grudge as well as been vindictive. She is having an extremely negative attitude towards me and is acting extremely selfish. I mean, he is always telling me something like “just leave us alone and in case you want to be involved then you need to treat me good and a lot of other bs like this one”. what does it have this to do with the fact of arranging and writing up some type of custody or visitation as I am the one rightful father of the baby (I did signed up the affidavit of the parentage).

 

Well, to make the very long story short: she has not even let me near to my baby and she is also not answering me so we could make some arrangement before she is going to leave wherever she wants. Of course I have talked with a lawyer and he has submitted a sole custody case for her in order to respond to barring here from leaving the states with my newborn baby. The mother has neglected me and also her older daughter she is having now and dragging her along it all, she took her out of the 3rd grade in the middle of the school year when she didn’t had to. could you tell me what are my chances to get a sole custody and what do you think I need to do now as far as:

 

Firstly: To get insurance for my newborn baby

 

Second: to get extended family involved

 

third: what do you think? I need a girlfriend that can help in my case?

 

4th: Day care arrangement

 

5th point: what do you think? Who I should bring on the stand in case it is ever going to get to the court to vouch for me?? I’m pretty sure there must be somebody who can help.

 

and the last: I am living in apt with only one room, is it going to be a problem?? generally, what are your thoughts about it?

 

I really need very much to with this case otherwise she is going to win and she is going to get support and then to run off to who knows where in the Europe and with whom. By the way, I am a fit father and I am always paying support regularly. Please, any info could be helpful. thanks.

 

[Bedeencion1980]

I would recommend you not to try for the sole custody due to the fact that you may lose it all at once. You have some better chances to start off with the shared custody, however you need to stop her from leaving the states otherwise I’m not sure that you will be able to do something about that then. I personally would start off with shared custody because chances are much more than sole custody and after you are getting the shared custody then you could take her back to the court and in case she is going to screw it all up (if she is gonna do it). I think that in this way you are standing off best chances, this is the most likely way that you could end up with the sole custody. Other cases are pretty unlikely to happen. I wish you good luck and I hope your newborn baby won’t suffer from all this.

 

[vernita]

I do know that you have told that she is vindictive to you, however is she a fit mother? In order to get a sole custody of your child then you need to have to prove that she is an unfit mother. And I’m sorry but I have to tell you sir that in case you plan to take a baby from its mother then you MUST believe that she is really an unfit mother. I shall say that it is an extremely awful place for a child to be taken away from its mother. Don’t understand me wrong, I don’t want to say that men are bad parents and that they cannot be great father, I really and sincerely believe in this, they can be almost as good for their babies as their mother is, however, I also believe that there is just something inexplicable that only a mother can give to her children that no one else on this earth can give him, there’s something that cannot be ever replaced by what his mother gives. It doesn’t really matter how good a step mother is, she can be a super woman and a super step mother, however, she still cannot replace the biological mother of a child and what she gives him. I really wish that all children would live with their mother and I also really wish that this awful place nobody would share with me. I know what I am talking about because it was the most awful place that I could have ever been in my entire life. besides my children are still not the same and this is cannot be changed that my children are going to be affected by their father’s decision for a lifetime and there’s nothing that would make them forget that.

 

I have been a fit mother, however I have been on welfare and he was also having his daddy who was always having his back, he was always saying “I have money”. the thing is that he has molested my 3 years old daughter and even so, they have still let him to have my children, he was always beating my boys and it was still not enough as they was still letting him to have them. this is the power of money, I have been thinking. Then again, when my daughter was 10 years old she has been molested once ore by him because of the decisions they have made. I realized that they don’t really care, what they need is money. they would sell their souls to the devil for getting some money. now, my daughter is still dealing and every day fighting with all those ideas, thoughts and memories that are coming into her mind. She will never be the same and of course it is not her fault, she cannot have a wholesome relationship with absolutely anybody and I’m not sure if she will ever be ready for this. now I think that only god can help. there have been people saying that nowadays medicine can heal and fix up everything. Try to fix this up. she’s in god’s hands now. and may god have mercy on his soul…

 

Once again, I really don’t want you to understand me wrong. I am now not trying to allude or to say that you are going to do these monstrous things and I really hope so. I really hope that you are going to be and that you are a great father. I hope that you  have all this love that I am having for my children so in this way you can be the best person in this life for them in case you really believe that she is unfit.

 

Now I am not even sure whether is this nice or awful to hear that there is somebody else who is going through the same situation that I have went through. But if you feel that the mother won’t face the situation and she doesn’t have this mother’s love while you’re really ready to do everything on this earth for your children then I hope for you to come out on the top! Also, to your child, I really hope and I pray that god is going to give grace and mercy to your child regardless of what would be the outcome. As other user has said, the most important of this all is the child not to suffer from all of this. god bless you all