so i am 23 years old female and i start having sex since 17 years but i cannot have an orgasm! in these 6 years i've had 2 parteners and neither of them made me feel an orgasm but i dont think that this is because of them. i am not really sure, but probably i've had it once. whenever i feel like im going to have an orgasm, it never comes out and i get disappointed and really frustrated. i don't understand what is my problem because i'm generally healthy and my vagina is always wet during sex. i've noticed that when we have sex i try staying in the mood, but i just can't, the feeling of being turned on always disappears. what excites me the most is when my boyfriend is having oral sex with me, i think this isn't normal, it shouldn't be like that. i've tried watching porn while having sex but nothing worked out and i still can't orgasm. i am thinking maybe some sex toys would help me or there are specific medications for this kind of problems? i really want to get some answers and I would be very thankful if someone can help. women who passed thru this, what is the best method of reaching an orgasm?
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can't have orgasm - frustrated!!
- Thread starter halseara
- Start date
Halseara, many women can't achieve orgasm so you don't need to consider that something is wrong with your body.
You said that when your boyfriend is having oral sex with you, you feel most excited, that's a normal thing too. Many women who achieve orgasm is rather just by oral sex and not by penetration. You should find a position that stimulates your clitoris during intercourse and maybe then you will have an orgasm. Or you two should try more oral sex, maybe you will find that point responsible for your orgasms. And yes, sex toys can help you reaching an orgasm so you might give it a try. First orgasm is the hardest to reach so if a sex toy helps you, you will be able to reach orgasms much easier.
One more thing is that you need to know for sure whether it is all in your head. Maybe you are thinking about it too much and that's what makes you unable to have one? You don't need to do anything and to think 24/7 about it, all you have to do is to be in mood. Maybe if you quit worrying this much everything is going to be alright? Try to relax and simply to feel the pleasure you are given. Hope something will help you!
P.S. be careful and don't let this problem ruin your relationship, it's not worth it.
I have had two parteners, with both I had serious relationship and neither ever made me feel an orgasm. With my current boyfriend I have tried everything I can imagine and nothing seems to work. I think we have tried every position in oral sex, every position during intercourse and masturbation, we even tried toys but still nothing. It's not that sex doesn't feel good, it is! I am always wet and I'm easily turned on when it comes to having sex but I just can't reach that intense pleasure point! Now my boyfriend is completely upset that he cannot make me orgasm even though I said that this isn't his fault. He's so disappointed that he don't even want to try anymore. I don't know what to do but I feel that this is ruining our relationship. I am confused, maybe there is something I need to know? I will try to clear my mind and maybe your advice will work, but I'm so disappointed I think it won't...........
Hello, I want to help you because I have had this problem myself and I know how frustrated you may feel right know! Well, I have had sex with 3 partners and none of them could make me orgasm. Only my 4th one was able and I found a method. I'm not joking and it may seem that it's abnormal BUT for me it worked so I hope that it's going to work for you too! Well, get your partner use a vibrator on you, on your clitoris WHILE performing oral sex on you. In my opinion it's the best feeling when someone is doing this to you and it's the best method for reaching an orgasm. It helped me for the first time and then it was easier, however still somehow harder than other for women, I asked my friends about this. I agree with tameeka that many women who achieve orgasm is rather just by oral sex and not by penetration, I know it from my own experience. Hope you all will someday achieve this pleasure! It's very sad when you don't, I can feel your pain.
Hey ladies, look what I found on the internet while I was searching some information about this: lack of pleasure during sex (or just orgasm) can be due to many reasons and you need to start searching the root of it if you want to get rid of this problem. Sometimes the frigidity can be a reason for lack of orgasm but if you enjoy sex and masturbating then I doubt that it is the reason in your personal case. Also I found on the internet that lack of orgasm and sexual pleasure is a different sexual disorder than frigidity. You also should know that there are two most common reasons for lack of orgasm and sexual pleasure, they are psycho emotional issues and lack of sexual stimulation, you should see if in either of these two reasons you can find yourself. If you really enjoy masturbation and sex but you still have no success in reaching an orgasm then there is a chance that you are experiencing a mental block to satisfaction. Well, there is another reason, I would say that this isn't as common as others but still it can be a problem: it can be a large vaginal entrance and relaxed perineum where there is not enough clitoral stimulation during sex leading to lack of orgasm, you need to face whether this is your cause of the problem. There's nothing to be ashamed of, this is natural, we are all humans and we all are different. If we're going to talk in numbers then there were made some statistics upon this and they claim that about ONLY 30% of all sexually active women can reach orgasm during the sex. Other 20% of women can achieve orgasm only by self satisfaction I mean when they are masturbating. Another 40% of women can also achieve the orgasm but only if the clitoris is stimulated during the sex by touching or oral sex. However, the rest of about 10% of all women never achieve orgasm in their entire life due to the reasons explained above. I really hope you're not one of those 10%. I suggest you to visit a doctor specialized in this field, a sexologist or you might try to speak to a mental health doctor if you find this helpful. You have to look for a solution because I'm almost sure you can find it! I hope this information somehow is going to help you out.
I’m only 18 years old and I have had only one partner who is my boyfriend. I read on the internet that sometimes, to achieve an orgasm it needs a lot of practice (I understand this fact but this feels just so frustrating). Anyway, my boyfriend and I have tried to make me achieve one and it’s not even close. That’s because each time when I get close to one, my clitoris is starting to hurt so much that I must make my boyfriend to stop otherwise the pain is unbearable. When this happens I don’t want any more to continue and after it hurts pretty much I’m not in the mood therefore I am not enjoying our sex at all. I want you to help me if possible please! My mom and I aren’t so close to talk about all this and I don’t have anybody else to whom to tell about my problem. I would appreciate any suggestion that can possibly help me with this frustrating problem I have.