I want to be alone. And I talk to myself

[Hass991]

Hi all. I’m a 22 years old woman and I always want to be alone. My issue it is not that I am getting too much emotions but it is that I am having a big lack of emotions. I mean, I’m never getting angry, I am never depressed, I can’t be jealous, sad, joyful, glad etc. or anything in this matter. really. In fact there are a couple of things that do make me feel happy, sometimes mildly worried, but that’s pretty much everything. The point is that I very much dislike people.. I don’t know how to explain but for a while now I am in no hurry to be in any kind of relationship. I really don’t care about anything around me and my response as “I don’t care” refers to pretty much everything.

 

There’s seriously something wrong me with me because I am getting stomach upsets and I am feeling sick when I’m around some people for a too long time and that’s even if I am with my best friends or with my family members, I am still getting the same thing. there’s another thing, I am freezing up when I am around some people and there are other times when I stutter or I can’t even speak when I am introduced to some new people. and you know what’s the problem?? I know that this must bother me but it is not bothering me… everything that I need, anything at all… I can take care about my self alone… and it doesn’t matter if that’s socialization like for example if I need some company or even if I need sexual satisfaction… I can care about myself very well. Plus to everything, there are a lot of people who don’t socialize but at least they are interacting with other people online, I don’t. I can only enter a couple of forums, read something and rarely post something and that’s pretty much everything. I am not interacting with anybody at all.

 

Now, having all of that said… I don’t really care either. I am caring about this only because my family are concerned about this. I am only having 2 friends and I am not going out to meet any people at all. generally I rarely go out. that’s because most of the time I talk to myself a lot. I am sitting nearly always alone. And no, I am not talking to voice or anything in this matter, I am only talking with myself and there are some times when I am talking out load and this are worrying people around me who hears it. but that’s fine for me because I do like to hold on some conversations with myself, I am pretty much explaining some things to myself, usually that’s what I do.. I am seriously not sure why do I do it, but I just do it.

 

Plus, I am also having a vivid imagination and pretty often I am playing pretend with myself. pretending people are there around me and talking about me. or sometimes I pretend that I am talking to some people like I am being a tourist or psychiatrist or something in this matter. but as I said, I am explaining some stuff and things in this matter (that’s the reason why a tourist or psychiatrist and etc.) in most of the cases I am being silent about that, however, on occasion I can laugh out load or I can even roll my eyes for no reason (I mean, for reasons and scenarios I have in my head) and of course, there are people that are looking at me strange. I am even doing this in the time I work and I talk to people, I am just not able to turn off my mind of this. I do understand that “normal” people are not doing it, but I do and I don’t think that this is so bad. Do you think that it is such a big problem? do you think that this may lead to some serious issues in my life? as I said, I just post it because my family members are scared and I would only like them to be fine.

 

[Highness]

Well. I am just glad that you are not feeling depressed or stressed or something in that matter because this is what really might cause you real problems. however, it really does sound like you are suffering from an social anxiety disorder or some kind of social phobia. I really think that you would benefit in a way or another if you are going to see a therapist and maybe if you are going to get on some med (but that’s only optional). I do understand that you better understand what you are having and maybe you even know how to deal with it, however, the docs can tell you what you exactly have, and maybe they will be able to help you to deal with all of it better. if you like, we could chat about this privately. Just send me a message about it. I would really like to help you. you said that you don’t need help, you are not feeling bad or anything in this matter. however I need to tell you that sometimes we need help even if we don’t realize it. there are situations when we must get other’s people help but we think that everything’s alright. maybe that’s the situation for you? I’m not trying to say that this is for sure, it is a thing you should think about. as I said, I would like to talk about it more privately. I could send you some information about the disorders I am talking about and in this way you could compare them and see if there are your symptoms. Plus, I think that it is worth a try to get help. see if that helps. maybe you are going to feel better, who knows? If you won’t feel any better then you can simply abandon it all, but if you do? try it and see if that helps or no.

 

[Auntudgeou]

Hello in there. I do understand perfectly what you are talking about because I used to be very much like you. at least most part because I am not getting sick when I am around people (it seems that if you do then there might be something that can be diagnosed by a doc, I think…) anyway, I am able to socialize with people, however I simply can’t be around with people, it just doesn’t feel right for me. I don’t feel good, I don’t feel happy. Like an outcast or a loser as what they used to call it. however, that’s not a problem for me, that’s something I want myself because I am happy that I am not being with people. that’s just fine for me. that’s really make me feel very awkward when I am involved in some conversations with other people. I really like to be all alone with myself and I am used to do stuff in my own, alone, to be alone and so on. The difference between me and you is that I am emotional, I am very emotional and/or sensitive and that was especially when I was young. I have been talking to my teddy bears, to the pillow, to the walls around me and to my dog also (but I do know that lots of people used to talk to their dogs too). but there are even sometimes when I am talking to a flower, to a tree or even to the wind. Most people find it strange, they would call me crazy or something but I really believe that I am not having any mental disorder. That’s just the way I am. people got used to call other people who are different “crazy” and this disturbs me. but, unlike them, I am very independent and I am doing things all on my own until now. I am having too many friends and I can talk and socialize with them anytime, sometimes we get out etc. but I really do not like to be personally close to them, in fact I don’t like to be personally close to anybody, I really do not like to share my life with anybody and I don’t. I just really do not feel comfortable with it. what I am doing now, writing this, is kind of too personal, but I still write this post because I am feeling now like I am alone.

 

However, as I said, I am not an expert, of course, but it seems that your case is a bit different and it does seem to me like it can be ruled out with a professional help that is why I think that it would be better for you to have it checked with a psychiatrist. After all, as Highness said, if you will find it beneficial then it’s all fine and good but if you won’t then you simply can stop the entire process and that’s it. I wish you good luck!

 

[donnie]

I don’t have the exact thing but almost. I am 17 years old male and it is pretty much the same problem except for some details. I am feeling fine around my friend and my immediate family. I do socialize well and I have friends I can trust and share with them my personal feelings etc. etc. what I have noticed that it is not fine is that for an unknown reasons I am feeling very uncomfortable around my uncles, cousins, aunts and so on and so forth. When they are around me I really feel differently that’s why I talk differently and act differently. I just don’t like to be anywhere around them. you know? that’s crazy. I do whisper to myself nearly all the time, my lips are moving, however I am barely making out any words. Doesn’t it sound strange? There are some times when I am afraid that I am really crazy or something, like I’m insane or like there’s something seriously wrong with me. however, I do know that there are other people like me. besides, I don’t have it with my friends and family as I said. I do love them, I do talk with them and so on and so forth. There are just a group of people that I can’t stand around…

 

[sarahalex]

I don’t have the exact thing but almost.