so scared about my situation, can’t explain why but I really need to talk with somebody that can understand me. Not so long ago I have found out that I’m pregnant, so… that’s strange. I didn’t plan to have a baby due to the fact that I’m 48 years old and I think that it’s a risk to have a baby at this age both for me and for the baby. I have had my first baby at 20 and the second one at 35. I always wanted to have 2 kids and I didn’t expect that I would ever going to have the third one. I don’t want to say that I don’t want this baby. I want him very much and even if I didn’t expected that it would happen and I didn’t plan this pregnancy, I love him equally the same as my first two children that are 28 and 13. My husband and my kids are very happy about this, since the first minute that I told them about this they were all very happy and they started to think about the names. It’s a little bit strange to me, to become mom for the 3th time when I’m a grandmother. Also, I’m a little bit worried about my situation, I know that there are some risks and that there could be more complications if a woman have her baby at this age. Anyone here can tell me about their experience if there’s somebody who has ever had a baby at this age? I would like to hear some stories from those women that have had their baby at the same age so I would know what to expect… please tell me that everything will be okay.. I’m too scared and stressed and I know that this is not good for my baby and I really don’t want to risk with anything.
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pregnant at 48
- Thread starter Lisssa
- Start date
I was shocked when I found out that I was pregnant for the 4th time. I was 47 and I thought that this will be the end. I was scared too, because I have heard so many stories about babies who are born with syndrome down and babies that usually born with some diseases that can’t be cured and doctors always put it down to the mother’s age. It was so difficult for me to decide what to do. I have never thought before that moment about abortion, but in that moment I knew that it will be better to decide what to do.. it was a big risk for me and also for him and this was the only reason why I was thinking about it, not because I didn’t loved my baby. I was against abortion all my entire life but in that moment when you feel that there is something very serious you start to put together different thoughts and to decide which one is the best – risking that your baby would be born with some incurable diseases or put it all to an end by having abortion. At the end my husband encouraged me and told me that he will be by my side all this time and that he feels like this baby has to live.
So I decided to keep him even though I knew that there is that risk and that there’s a possibility that my baby would have to suffer all his life – that’s what I was afraid of. After some months, I think that I was 4 or 5 months pregnant when my doctor told me that I was pregnant with twins.. So you can imagine what kind of shock was this for me. In that moment I remembered when I wanted to have an abortion and I understood that if I knew the thing that I discovered at 4 months pregnancy I would never kept my babies.
I was worried and stressed as at the first time but henceforth I was loving them sooo much I cannot explain. After some time I found out that it was a boy and a girl, at the beginning when I knew that I’ll have just one baby I didn’t wanted to know the sex but when I found out that they are 2 I thought that it will be better to know and to be prepared. Before having birth, 2 or 3 weeks later I was in panic, I couldn’t fall asleep and I couldn’t do anything, my kids and my husband tried to do anything in order to make my life at least a little bit of harmony and peace and they did everything that I wanted. Of course some days before the birth you start to be scared and to think about all the possible complications that can happen, but there was a moment when I encouraged myself and I told myself that this is the end and that soon I’ll see my babies, I started to think that I passed over so much pain and trouble that the birth will pass okay and that is nothing to worry about.
The day of the birth passed okay, without any complication, and I have had my 2 babies a girl and a boy, Miranda and Sean, now they are 4 years old both and remembering the past and all this experience I can say that I’m really glad I didn’t decided to do the abortion now as I see them healthy. I love them so much and they are my angels, I would never forgive myself if I would do an abortion knowing then what I know now – they are healthy! There are some positive things that they did for our family and first of all they saved my marriage. Before finding out that I was pregnant my husband and I wanted to divorce but the pregnancy changed all our visions and we joined together to have out babies, they really changed our relationship, my husband and I are very happy about our babies and we love each other like for the first time.
So I think that you don’t have to worry about this, I really think that everything will be okay and that you have to keep your baby. Just think that soon you’ll have a new person in your life that will change your family. Just think about the fact that your family is really happy and that they support you every moment of your life, this is the most important thing. If this didn’t calm you then remember that usually if there is something wrong with your pregnancy, doctors usually know this thing from the beginning and they alert you about this and about the options that you have. If your doctor told you that your pregnancy is doing okay then you have to do just one thing: to enjoy your pregnancy. As much as the doctors haven’t told you that you risk with something then the chances that something would go wrong are small.
I’m 45 and I’m scared too. I’m 2 months pregnant and I can’t live normally with this. The problem is that when I was 25 years old I tried to get pregnant many times and I have had 5 miscarriages before having my only kid. Now I’m 45 and I got pregnant again, my doctor told that I’m okay and that my pregnancy is okay but I really think about miscarriages all the time. I’m so scared that this will happen again and that I am going to lose him, especially because now I’m much older. The second thing is the same as all of you worry about, the problems with different diseases that a baby can have when he or she will be born from an elderly mother. I consider that I’m too old to pass over such a thing normally, and I can’t imagine what I would do if my baby would be born with a disease. You are blessed that you have never had before some problems with pregnancy, but this thing with miscarriages is killing me, I’m thinking about it continuously. What should I do??? How can I be sure that this time everything will be okay?
as I told in my last post, usually if there is something wrong with your baby doctors alert you about this, because they offers you the opportunity to choose if you want to keep the baby or if you want to have an abortion and this is the point that you have to worry less about. In case there would be something wrong then they would tell you and it doesn’t matter what – your age or the fact that you’ve had miscarriages. The point with miscarriage is really very important one, and I really hope that you have discussed about this with your doctor. I’m not sure but I have heard that if you have had some miscarriages and after this you have had a baby the percentage of having another miscarriage again shrinks with about more than 50%, this is another point that should calm you down. I can recommend you just one thing, to talk with your doctor and to ask him all the things that troubles you, this is the best way to be sure about your situation and to calm down, remember that there is a baby inside you and that you don’t have to stress too much about everything, if you see that the situation is going out of control and that you can’t calm down it’s better to talk with a psychologist too, sometimes he can help you with some exercises and meditations. Seek as much medical help as you can because stress is influencing your baby a lot – in the negative way. Another good thing is to practice some sport, really can help you to growth mentally and can calm your baby; it’s a very good thing for you both. Don’t wait until the situation will become critical, remember that sometime you can hurt your baby without knowing this, and I consider that this is the worst thing ever.
I wish good luck to both of you and I really hope that you would be fine as well as your babies. I’ve went through this and I know what you’re feeling right now. but the best way to keep your baby away from troubles is not to be stressed!